A Handshake of Hope: How Khordae Sydnor Was Inspired to Dream Big
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NASHVILLE—Two taps, a thumb wrestle, a finger motion to indicate love, a tap on the heart and a hand to the sky. That’s all it takes for Khordae Sydnor to feel that all is right in the world.
Perhaps it’s a meaningless gesture to some, but to Sydnor, his two brothers and his father Tracey, every step has meaning. The two taps symbolize that they’re together, another motion indicates “I love you,” the tap on the heart says “with all my heart,” and the finger to the sky “gives praise to God.”
Through a journey in which Sydnor’s resilience has been tested, his handshake has been a constant.
“I’m going to teach my kids the handshake and it’s going to continue to pass on,” Sydnor told Vandy on SI. “Growing up in Harlem–it’s not the best area. There’s a lot of gangs and gang violence and they have signature handshakes. My dad wanted to be different and not have anything affiliated with that, so we do our handshake.”
The five or so second routine has been a part of Sydnor’s life since he was an impressionable preteen and is countercultural to the culture of gang-related handshakes within his hometown of Harlem. Sydnor’s father says he wasn’t a “helicopter” parent, but that he kept his ear to the ground to make sure that his sons stayed on the right path.
The assumption by Sydnor’s father was always that some around his sons would “get into the wrong stuff” and that his three boys would likely have to make a choice to stray from that. He trusted his sons and gave them a high degree of “autonomy,” but had to find something to encourage them to stay on the right path.
“I wanted to make sure that Khordae didn’t get involved with that kind of stuff,” Sydnor’s father said. “I thought that it would be good for me to come up with our own handshake, so we did and it just stuck. I taught all the kids the same handshake.”
It took a certain degree of toughness for the Vanderbilt edge rusher to make it through a childhood in a blue-collar city like the one he grew up in, but it also takes a healthy dose of fear.
Sydnor’s father has to look up at his son while they conduct their handshake these days, but jokes that Sydnor may have been “a little bit intimidated” by him as a kid because of his size. Whether that or the idea that Sydnor’s father was a single parent at the time was the reason or not, Sydnor appeared to be intentional about straying from anything that would disappoint his father.
The idea that Sydnor never got caught in crowds or activities that would do him harm was as much a testament to his father and the respect he held for him as it was his persona.
“I’m blessed to have a good role model and guardian to always watch out for me,” Sydnor said. “Some of my friends didn’t have all of the blessings to have guardians that really watched every move they did. It’s unfortunate, but I’m blessed to have my dad and my mom always paying attention to me.”
A look at Sydnor’s day-to-day life indicates the merging of each of his parents’ philosophies, the enthusiasm that each of them live with is even inscribed on a bracelet that sits on his wrist and says “enthusiasm runs the world.” Another bracelet says “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” to commemorate the Bible verse Jeremiah 29:11.
It isn’t as if Sydnor was insulated from the realities within his hometown, but he appeared to have a foundation that he ultimately believed was more reliable than the lifestyle that he saw some within his community take.
“It is somewhat sad to see some of my guys that I grew up playing football with choose the streets and then end up getting in trouble or getting locked up,” Sydnor said. “I was blessed to have a support system where [my dad] always kept me on track, didn’t have me hanging out with certain people, got to be home by a certain time and stuff like that.”
Sydnor knows that when he walks into the movie theater or a restaurant around Vanderbilt alone he’s likely to get a few odd looks, but his upbringing has given him license to be different. Sydnor’s parents have always taught him that being tough and confident in what he believes as well as who he is rather than following others. He jokes about how that manifests itself these days, but he wouldn’t be here without the way he’s walked along a path that has likely been unpopular at times.
“I’m comfortable in my own skin,” Sydnor said. “I do a lot of things by myself that most people probably wouldn’t do.”
As a result, Sydnor has battled injury, rejection and the potential temptation that comes with the path that some within his hometown have taken to become what Clark Lea describes as an essential piece to Vanderbilt’s build towards becoming the nation’s No. 10 team.
When he’s discouraged or is written off, he keeps smiling. That’s who Sydnor is. That’s what’s gotten him here.
“I’ve raised my three sons to always just be happy no matter what you have or what you don’t have,” Sydnor’s mom Rolanda Carter-Sydnor said prior to Vanderbilt’s season opener. “I also raised them to treat people the way you want to be treated. So, whatever situation they’re in–they could be having a bad day, or whatever–but they show up in a positive way and they show up with happiness all the time.”
Sydnor hopes that the example he sets through his attitude and the idea that he stayed on the proper path while many of his counterparts didn’t can show those who were once in his shoes that they can do something similar.
He’s the proof of concept.
“Now that I have somewhat of an influence on the guys that’s in high school right now, guys like kids texting me in high school asking me for advice, and I'm the one giving advice now,” Sydnor said. “It's just like a full circle moment, and it's a blessing, man. It's a blessing.”
_(1)-b3e453dfe426b2dd4b83a12540ebdb37.jpeg "Joey Dwyer")
Joey Dwyer is the lead writer on Vanderbilt Commodores On SI. He found his first love in college sports at nearby Lipscomb University and decided to make a career of telling its best stories. He got his start doing a Notre Dame basketball podcast from his basement as a 14-year-old during COVID and has since aimed to make that 14-year-old proud. Dwyer has covered Vanderbilt sports for three years and previously worked for 247 Sports and Rivals. He contributes to Seth Davis' Hoops HQ, Southeastern 16 and Mainstreet Nashville.
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