Ex-Husky OT Adam Cooney Can Tell You All About 'Marlboro Arms'
Conversation in the football trenches can be downright hilarious if not unforgettable. Witty and biting. It's every reason these gladiators should be mic'd up when they start trading shoves and barbs.
Thirty years later, former University of Washington offensive tackle Adam Cooney and his teammates still recreate their favorite Dean Kirkland moment.
They mimic his voice inflection. They imitate his authoritarian stance. They admire his ultimate diss.
A high-motor Husky offensive guard and the father of current UW offensive tackle Jaxson Kirkland, Dean flexed huge, body-builder biceps back then.
In his mind, anyone displaying anything less had "Marlboro Arms." Skinny, no-definition chicken wings.
Dean made this rudimentary clear at the Los Angeles Coliseum when he threw USC's great defensive lineman Tim Ryan to the ground and stood over him menacingly.
"You've got Marlboro Arms!" Kirkland barked at Ryan. "I'm going to rip one off and smoke it!"
Now everyone exhale.
As Cooney will tell you as an entertaining story-teller, the Huskies were composed of physical, intimidating players up front when 1990s Rose Bowl appearances were frequent.
Cooney could play a little football himself. In 1986, he came to Washington as one of its most touted recruits. The Best in the West listing from the Long Beach Press-Telegram represented the only widespread resource for measuring high school talent. It assigned players numbers from one to 10.
Coming out of Hillsboro, Oregon, Cooney drew a seven. Only quarterback Cary Conklin from Yakima, Washington, rated higher for Husky recruits that year, earning an eight. Kirkland, the anti-Marlboro man, graded out as a five.
The 6-foot-6 Cooney officially weighed in at 316 pounds, but only because the UW scale went no higher. He could have been 10 pounds more at times.
He arrived with his heady recruiting credentials, which included campus visits to Notre Dame, Oklahoma, UCLA, Oregon and Stanford. He had Fighting Irish coach Lou Holtz, ever the showman, in his home doing magic tricks.
Cooney was treated to the full emotional experience of UW football prior to kickoff in his first game against Ohio State at Husky Stadium in 1986. He jogged onto the field as a true freshman alongside the late Jim Lambright, the team's always fired-up defensive coordinator.
As everyone passed the Buckeyes already engaged in pregame warmups, Lambright offered a sudden fiery directive.
"There they are, men! There they are!" Lambright screamed. "Pick one out and kick his mother-bleeping bleep!"
Cooney found Husky football incredibly competitive. In 1989, for instance, future NFL players Jeff Pakukoa and Ed Cunningham and Cooney equally shared the starting assignments at right tackle during an 8-4 season.
While his career ended in the 1991 Rose Bowl with a 46-34 victory over Iowa, Cooney had his shining moment against Texas A&M in the '89 season opener. The UW tackle went head to head with prolific Aggies edge rusher Aaron Wallace, who would finish with a school-record 42 sacks and spend a decade in the NFL. Cooney shut him down.
"Aaron Wallace was credited with a a sack in every single game he played except one," he said. "I'm really proud of that."
Once his college career ended, Cooney decided he was done with football. Rather than pursue the NFL, he took a trip to Europe. He finished with a degree in finance and saw that as his future, not the pros.
He's in the mortgage business in Denver. He's owned a restaurant and car dealerships. He shared in several business dealings with his childhood and closest friend, Chris Meyn, whose tragic death in an Oregon auto accident in 2018 deeply affected Cooney.
He always envisioned himself as much more than a football player. Away from his financial dealings, he's a chef who's sought out to cater dinner parties, a commercial drone pilot and an aerial photography business owner.
The fact that Cooney had no interest in the NFL never bothered him. He didn't feel like a football bust. He saw himself as a well-rounded person, someone with myriad interests, and he acted on them. The Huskies had a definitive beginning and an end for him.
"It served my purpose," Cooney said. "It paid for my education. It opened a lot of doors. I regret nothing. It was a great gift to me. I look at my experience glowingly. I wouldn't change a thing."
Football, of course, left him with great stories to retell. Don't tell his old teammate Dean Kirkland, who became a commercial real estate developer, but Adam likely has Marlboro Arms now.
"We all assumed," Cooney said, "what Dean would be doing after college was professional wrestling."