Pelicans Dump Zion Williamson, Reboot Frontcourt in NBA Mock Blockbuster

Zion Williamson | Matthew Hinton-Imagn Images

Patrick Williams seems like a wonderful individual.

He works his butt off, he never kvetches to the media, and he’s beloved in the Chicago Bulls’ locker room.

The only problem is that he’s not particularly good at basketball.

You might not feel comfortable calling 2022’s fourth-pick out of Florida State a bust, but he’s certainly bust-adjacent, having posted career lows in virtually every major statistical category last season, his fifth campaign in the Association.

The eye test doesn’t help Williams’ case, either: He’s a passive player, he doesn’t perform well alongside Chicago’s starters—regardless of who said starters are—and his touch around the basket isn’t what we in the sports industry like to call “good.”

And then there’s his inexplicable contract.

Last summer, for reasons beyond anybody’s understanding, Bulls VP of Basketball Ops Artūras Karnišovas thought it would be a wise idea to ink Williams to a five-year, $90 million deal—whenever I write about that, I throw up in my mouth a little—a problematic decision because:

1. The money royally effed up Chicago’s salary cap.
2. It makes Williams all but untradeable.

Or does it?

A Scootch Of Vooch

Nikola Vucevic has averaged a double-double in each of his last eight seasons, the longest active streak in the NBA. Like the aforementioned Mr. Williams, Vooch is a beloved teammate who comes to work each and every night. So why does Bulls Nation want him gone?

Simple: Dude doesn’t impact winning.

The Bulls’ record with Vooch in the starting lineup is 140-148, and his career record as a starter is 343-511. All the double-doubles in the world won’t soften the blow of a lifetime winning percentage of .401.

So let’s pretend to get rid of Chicago’s priciest backcourt patrollers. And let’s get back a front court patroller who’s possibly even bustier than Williams.

Land of Zion

Zion Williamson came into the NBA with as much hype as any modern hooper.

The one-and-done Dookie was going to be the face of the league, the next LeBron, a talent for the ages, a guaranteed Hall of Famer.

Then he started getting injured.

• 2019–20: Missed 44 games – Torn right knee meniscus
• 2021–22: Missed 82 games – Jones fracture in right foot
• 2022–23: Missed 53 games – Right hamstring strain
• 2024–25: Missed 52 games – Left hamstring strain / Low backbone contusion

Now I’m no doctor—nor do I play one on TV—but I have a feeling that Williamson’s body can’t handle his body. In other words, his muscles are so fast-twitchy that his joints and ligaments are like, “Yeah, not so much.”

If I’m right—or if I’m even a little bit right—this is an issue that will plague him for his entire basketball life, whether he’s playing with a mediocre New Orleans team or a championship-level OKC team.

But maybe I’m wrong. And if I am, wouldn’t he look nice in a Chicago Bulls uni?

So let's make a deal.

Chicago Bulls center Nikola Vucevic (9) and New Orleans Pelicans forward Zion Williamson (1). | Stephen Lew-Imagn Images

Da Trade For Da Bulls (and Da Pels)

Chicago Bulls receive:

• Zion Williamson
• 2027 second-round draft pick (via CHI)

New Orleans Pelicans receive:

• Nikola Vucevic
• Patrick Williams
• 2026 first-round draft pick (via POR, top-14 protected)

The Bulls will be happy because they’ll get Williams off the books, they’ll bring in something useful for Vooch, and they’ll have three years—the remaining time left on Zion’s contract—to decide whether Williamson is a player.

Best case scenario, Zion stays healthy and reaches his potential. Worst case scenario, he’s off the books after the 2027-28 season, at which point the Bulls’ young core will (hopefully) be good enough to attract scheduled free agents like Paolo Banchero, Jaren Jackson Jr., or Tyler Herro.

The Pels will be happy because they’ll get another first-round pick, Vooch can be the mentor the team so desperately needs, and they’ll be rid of their 6’6”, 284-pound headache.

And who knows: Maybe when he dons a Pelicans jersey, Patrick Williams will stop sucking.

But probably not.