Fantasy Football's Best and Most Embarrassing Last-Place Punishments
Fantasy football is a very fun game. It can also be a punishing game. Bad luck hits us, and in the blink of an eye, last place becomes a reality. It stinks, but certain leagues make light of the matter.
Last-place punishments are a thrill for the non-earning members. While certain individuals may have to wear a bunny suit on the street corner or go on a date with a blow-up doll, others may have more fun, such as at a Waffle House or spending a day at the bar.
I know that in my own league, the last-place earner has to cook a barbecue for everyone for the following year's draft. Hollywood actor Jon Hamm has said that his league has an odd number of members, with one being voted out at the literal draft party for a one-year relegation. What is your last place punishment? Let me know on X — @TCarelliTakes.
Here are some last-place punishments that might be fun and also penalizing. Commissioners, listen up!
The Waffle House Challenge
We have mostly all heard of this one. Some people also label it 'The IHOP Challenge.' The premise will destroy your gut, but it may be fun in the process. Simply put, you have to spend X amount of hours in the restaurant. For every waffle or pancake you eat, an hour is chopped off. The standard format is 24 hours, going down from there. How many pancakes can you eat? I would say no more than one an hour, personally.
Perform an Open-Mic Comedy Night
This one is brutal... Find your local comedy store, grab the open mic, bring your friends, and tell some god-awful jokes. Are you witty? Some last-place earners might have fun with this, but others will be very reluctant actually to do it. Make this a version of Kill Tony in your best Shane Gillis or Adam Ray.
Run a 5K in a Costume
To perform this feat will be both physically and mentally demanding. I pray I never come in last place in this league. What might the costume be? Perhaps a dinosaur... that would be hilarious to watch.
Shave Your Head
This one might be for the young... For those of you who have the good old bald head, it may not apply. For the college student, shaving the head, or even doing an insane haircut, might be to the great enjoyment of the non-last-place great finishers. How about even a Mohawk? Mullet?
Go to the Bars Dressed Absurdly
The league members can take the reins on this one... How will you make the last-place finisher look absurd? I know any league of good friends can, and will take this minute in any ridiculous ways.
A Date with a Mannequin
A date with a mannequin could be the worst of them all. Embrassing, being stared at, all of what can be imaged will likely happen. This punishment will make anyone expend every ounce of fantasy football content in order to stay afloat.
Enter an Amateur Golf Tournament
Show up to the tee box with a 25 handicap and give it your all. Some people have even done US Open qualifying, but that process is a bit testy to be permitted by the USGA. There are many amateur tournaments in which you will have to apologize to your playing partners, and they go out and shoot even par while you rip a 120.
Greyhound Bus to Nowhere
Totally ruin a day. Take a greyhound to the most random city that you can think of and grind it out.
Take the SAT's
Did you graduate from school? Great. You may have to recall now what you learned over multiple hours of painful mental fortitude.
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Thomas Carelli is a sportswriter based on Northern New Jersey. He is a massive New York Jets and Mets fan, but that is not where is sports fandom stops. He loves to watch and play golf, all things football, baseball, and much more. If he can watch it, he will. Thomas graduated from William Paterson University in 2018 with a Bachelor's Degree in Sport Management. He spent 4 years working at a local golf course, volunteered past PGA events, and spent some part-time experience with the New York Jets events team. His passions for sport runs deep and his articles show for it.