Cal in ‘Rebuilding’ Tier of FBS Rankings Inspired by ‘The Simpsons’

Pac-12 teams spread all over the 25 tiers ESPN uses to give preseason rankings to the 131 FBS teams

Cal is in rebuilding mode, or so says ESPN.com’s preseason football rankings based on tiers and inspired by the prognosticating success of the writers of “The Simpsons.”

ESPN.com decided to use a different format in projecting rankings for all 131 FBS teams. Instead of the basic 1-through-131 ranking, it opted to place teams in tiers. It starts with teams projected to be the best in 2022 in Tier 1, and it ends with teams who are expected to be the worst in Tier 25.

ESPN.com refers to a New York Times story that discusses the success The Simpsons writers have had in predicting world events, including Super Bowls. That Times report includes one passage that indicates the importance of "The Simpsons" in a Cal education:

The show is the product of brilliant minds, many Harvard educated, said William Irwin, whose book “The Simpsons and Philosophy” has for years been taught in college courses at The University of California, Berkeley and other schools. Mr. Irwin is the chairman of philosophy at King’s College in Wilkes-Barre, Pa.

At any rate Cal is just about in the middle of the tier rankings, coming in at No. 14 with this assessment:

Tier 14: The rebuilding projects

"Oh, why must life be so hard? Why must I fail at every attempt at masonry?"

Five teams: Cal, Illinois, Missouri, Virginia Tech, Rutgers

Building a winning program is difficult. Justin Wilcox is a good coach, but Cal -- particularly post-COVID -- is a nearly impossible job. Brent Pry thinks he has a recipe for revitalizing the Hokies, but he inherits a particularly thin roster. Greg Schiano built Rutgers into a winner once, but doing it again amid the far more grueling confines of the Big Ten might take a while. Odds are, this group will pull off a few surprises this season, but getting beyond .500 will be an uphill climb.

Two significant points: ESPN says Wilcox is a good coach and says Cal is nearly an impossible job.

Hmmm. Is this good news or bad news?

Let’s take a look at which tiers the other 11 Pac-12 teams were placed

Utah

Tier 3: Rising stars

"I'd trade it all for just a little more."

Four teams: NC State, Texas A&M, Utah, Wisconsin

USC

Tier 4: They're (maybe) back!

"Everything looks bad if you remember it."

Three teams: Miami, Texas, USC

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Oregon

Tier 7: Wilder things have happened

"Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter."

Five teams: Oregon, Minnesota, Mississippi State, Purdue, Tennessee

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Washington

Tier 8: Big names, bad records

"I'm not easily impressed. Wow! A blue car!"

Five teams: Auburn, Florida, LSU, Penn State, Washington

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UCLA

Tier 9: Plucky upstarts

"I can't promise I'll try, but I'll try to try."

Five teams: Kansas State, Louisville, Maryland, North Carolina, UCLA

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Arizona State

Tier 11: Hot seats

"I'm fired, aren't I?"

Four teams: Arizona State, Florida State, Nebraska, West Virginia

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Oregon State, Stanford

Tier 12: The overachievers

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

Six teams: Boston College, Iowa State, Oregon State, South Carolina, Stanford, Virginia

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Washington State

Tier 13: All gas, no brakes

"There's three ways to do things: The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way. ... Isn't that the wrong way? ... Yes, but faster!"

Four teams: Syracuse, Texas Tech, TCU, Washington State

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Arizona, Colorado

Tier 19: At least they're not as bad as Kansas

"You don't win friends with salad."

Five teams: Arizona, Colorado, Georgia Tech, Indiana, Northwestern

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Cover photo of Justin Wilcox by Darren Yamashita, USA TODAY Sports

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