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During a text thread, I was commissioned to write the following article thus:  

Fearless Leader:  I'd like the KF Sports Ignoramus to have a Q and A session at Ye Ol Bull and Bush with the Lupton Drinking Group. 

Me (spoken):  When Fearless Leader says "like," she means "like it or not."  

Barry:  Yes, please!!! 

Me (spoken):  I think not.  

Barry:  So basically, the schmuck's committed to doing it even though he hasn't said so? Love it. 

Me (spoken):  I bet you do.  

Fearless leader:  Lol yeah. I'm like a bulldog on a sock when I get an idea.  

Me (spoken):  I don't get ideas. But when I do, it's more like a bull in a sack.  

Me (written):  Who's the Lupton Drinking Group?  

Barry:  A bunch of drunkards. Your peeps. 

Me (spoken):  That's by invitation only.  

Barry:  But they have helped raise $25,000 for Indiana Special Olympics.  

Me (spoken):  An invitation that is always negotiable.  

Barry:  They sit front row behind home plate. They are alums, big fans, vocal to refs, and vocal to the opposing team. And they love their beer. 

Me (spoken):  $25,000 worth of fundraising can buy a lot of beer.   

Whereupon Barry provides a link to Twitter (that infernal site) in which Jeremiah Donati promises $1 from each concession transaction all weekend to the Indiana Special Olympics. 

Me (written):  Is there an angle? Because I'm not seeing it.  

Barry:  Just another way to add to the contributions. 

Me (written):  Don't get the fried chicken. 

Fearless Leader, Barry:  Hahahahaha

Me (written):  So what's the Indiana Special Olympics?  

Barry:  The point is that it started with the LDC and is still growing. 

Fearless Leader:  Don't worry about the interview. But I'd like the article ASAP.  

Me (written):  So what's the Indiana Special Olympics? 

Silence. 

Thus, I had work to do. An article about one group I knew nothing about helping another I knew nothing about. But me being a Sports Ignoramus, writing everything about which I know nothing, the difficulty was nothing new. The problem was the work. You see, I might not know much, but I do know I wouldn't say I like to work, and that's why I'm a writer. Further, all writers don't like to work. That's why they're all writers. And if any of them ever say otherwise, you know they're lying.   

But a little research proved Indiana Special Olympics is a good thing. According to their website, they are a nonprofit organization and part of the global Special Olympics movement, invested in sport, health, and education to empower those with intellectual disabilities. It is, in short, an organization designed to ensure that all of us, including the seemingly most disadvantaged, may thrive. And they're based in Indiana, nowhere near Texas. And a group of TCU's own drunkards and trash-talkers have jumpstarted a campaign that has raised $35,000+ thus far for the welfare of that organization.  

So that's pretty cool.  

But the story gets better. Naturally, being a Sports Ignoramus, I had no idea who the Indiana State Sycamores were (I had been inclined to think of them as a particular species of tree). But evidently, according to a tweet (from that infernal site) pinned to the Lupton Drinking Club page, the Indiana State Sycamores are a baseball team originally slated to host TCU at the NCAA Super-Regionals, but their athletic department fell into a conflict between the high-profile baseball game and the 51st Indiana Special Olympics they already committed to.  

Thus a change of venue from Terre Haute (presumably in Indiana) to Lupton Stadium in Fort Worth, TX, was arranged. The Lupton Magicians, the Lupton Boozers, the Lupton Drinking Club, LDC, took it upon themselves to commence a campaign of solicited contributions to the welfare of the Indiana Special Olympics (which, of course, speaks to their magnanimity in assisting the community of a foe, the magnanimity that matters most in sports).  

The Tweet was pinned on the 5th of June. Thus, over $35,000 in revenue has been accrued in a matter of days, all in the name of charity.  

And as the Donati tweet makes clear, one dollar from every concession transaction will be donated to the Indiana Special Olympics.  

Saturday's game will start off with a tailgate for all.  Donations will go to the Indiana Special Olympics.

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So, by all means, attend the baseball game if you are within three hundred miles of Tarrant County--I will not be, as I will be attending a bachelor party (The Ratigan's getting himself tied in a knot).  

I do, however, advise that you steer clear of the chicken tenders. 


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