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The Screwed Tape Letters:  Portending The Portal

A public letter to student athletes everywhere, concerning the College Football Transfer Portal--by a Sports Ignoramus

Hello!  

I ain't gonna lie to y'all.  I have no idea what the College Football Transfer Portal is, much less how it works, and even less what to tell you about it. 

But I have an article due.  So in lieu of my incompetent ramblings, I have solicited the assistance of a pro, or at least someone who has a glimmering in his head of what the hell he's talking about, and he has a a few things to say to you.

Peace! 

SI

Dear Student Athletes, 

The parallels of college football and indentured servitude are likely well known to you. As if you were a child, a stranger might say he likes the cut of your jib--would you like a free education? Committed, you are a pawn in this strange would-be father-figure’s game, a chess match the superiors play among themselves while you execute the various moves of their design.  You commit to them, but they do not commit to you. You may be riding pine for four years, or thrown into fiery battle to risk brain and limb for the fun of it … and an education. Eat what they say, sleep where they say, when they say jump, etc. If you (or your team) don’t do so well, then some brash new face can come in and all but say you're no longer welcome, presumably under the theory of “we’re all professionals here”. Or, if you do really well, your coach takes the credit and hurries off somewhere for a fatter paycheck because the only actual professionals here are mercenaries with offices.

But not to worry, reciprocity is here! The portal has opened, and your image appears hovering inside with cash signs where your eyes should be. Now, Coach can coach you up and you can putter off somewhere looking for a better deal. Because it no longer constitutes a loss of self-respect when you ride the pine, it’s an opportunity cost. You could be selling mattresses in Maryland, wheat threshers in Wyoming, or HVACs in Omaha. 

I happened onto On3's transfer portal adapted database, very curious to know if TCU may lose anyone in such a glorious year. Much to my surprise, there is an entry for “NIL Value”. Looking at Decoldest Crawford, the former Husker hawker of air conditioning alluded to earlier, you can see he has an NIL Value of $84k. 

From my quick skimming, I’d guess that the average is around $30k-$50k.

Obviously, the grotesque reality of this country and college football within it is that we are all commodities to be bought and sold, happy enough to sweep up the crumbs that fall off as the wages of sin. Now any booster with $1 million could probably buy themselves a pretty solid squad (of squalid sods) and save the expense of a large recruiting staff.

But let's look to an alternative approach to studious athleticism.  Our own ginger Saint Max of Iowa and Amon G. Carter Stadium, of a young hero who forgoes the portal despite losing the starting job, giving his full support to a team who lost its HC, OC, and possibly its dignity if this Sonny Dykes thing didn’t work out. And lo, the last became first and our beatific Max Duggan turned losses into wins, parted the Red River, and almost died with his eyes on the College Football Promised Land. This is what the Olympics, politics, and college football live in hopes of. The Incomparable Amateur, the selfless excellence, the true, the pure, the heroic. Being incomparable means that there aren’t a lot of ‘em around, but as with the Greeks, the great epitomize virtue.

Well, if this is virtue, then I can see what vice is.

If only there were a golden mean where students could be students, partake fairly in the bounty of live television, play at a high and enjoyable level, and rough parity could exist among schools so that we could all just talk garbage at each other every year without fear that some new mammoth mammon monster might bring the whole thing crumbling down. Professionalism and business are the words muttered under gaslight, deployed only by the bully to scold the affronted and powerless.

But have no doubt about it, friends:  whatever talents you may have on the field, you better hope your Name, Image, or Likeness appeals to those in the market for fresh produce. The Portal may be a free agency, but there’s a price. And that price is you.

Sincerely, 

GW


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