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We're back with another all-reader mail edition of Hot Clicks. My responses to readers will be italicized in parenthesis. We'll get started with a Lovely Lady of the Day request. Besides ridiculous and nonsensical PR pitches (like this one), the most creative and humorous (and sometimes creepy) e-mails are the ones about the LLOD.
For example, Matt, of Portland, says, "Is there anything better than discovering that a former LLOD has a sister who's just as hot? A while back you featured Ariadne Artiles, who ranks as one of your best finds. I came across this picture of her (right) and had to find out who the chick on the left was. Blown away to learn it's her sister, Aida Artiles. She's a must feature. P.S. Shouldn't we be able to set up a 'just because' registry for their parents so we can all send them gifts as a thank you? That's got to be a thing, right?"
(There's a lot going on in Matt's e-mail. I'm gonna pass on addressing his points, and just tell you that Aida Aritles gets today's LLOD honors.)
The Hot Clicks Mailbag
Aida Artiles :: Fotonoticias/Getty Images
AND THEN THERE'S THIS ROMANTIC GUY
Adam Wilson, of New Brunswick, Canada, says, "Lovely Lady Suggestion -- You won't regret it! And it will earn me brownie points with my wife. My wife, eight-month-old daughter and I are moving to China where I am going to be a guidance counselor. We are pretty pumped, but our parents obviously will miss our daughter, Eva. As a gift to my wife for being such an amazing mother and for ALL Hot Clicks readers you should feature my wife. She is not some famous model or celebrity but she did win the Figure Short Division in her first competition ever for all of Atlantic Canada! She then finished third a year later despite being six weeks pregnant! (She had a six pack). Check out the pics. You can also see the every day pics that show what a fun, gorgeous personality she has to match the body and face! Love ya, Kels."
BEER PONG VIDEOS
Manny Ayala, of Chicago, says, "This is a video of my buddy from college. Hopefully, it can make it to Hot Clicks as "Beer Pong Trick Shots Video of the Day." You're the best, Traina!"
(Only posted because he said I'm the best.)
Nate, of Atlanta, says, "Check this beer pong shot out. Notice that it's over a Wham! record."
(Only posted because they're holding a Wham! record.)
THIS IS A ONE-MAN OPERATION
Jeff, of Blacksburg, Va., says, "This clip may have already been displayed on the 10 percent of Hot Clicks I ignore. Even so, I don't feel terrible because I am sure you have hired someone to filter out unnecessary e-mails and if there weren't people like me, this person wouldn't have a job. If you haven't hired someone to filter these types of e-mails, you may want to consider because I plan on continuing to send links that 1) have already been posted 2) are not cool enough to be posted."
(Nobody but me reads each and every e-mail that gets sent in. Also, that clip has not been in Hot Clicks before.)
UNINTENTIONALLY DIRTY LEFTOVERS
Adam, of Madison, Wis., says, "I know the 'unintentionally dirty' bit has played a bit long, but this jersey alignment totally trumps 'Dingle Berry.' As a Hog fan, I can report that this is indeed, the real deal.
Tim, of Alpharetta, Ga., says, "You forgot one of the classics."
Nick, of Mankato, Minn., says, "Jimmy, this pic from sporno has to make your unintentionally dirty photo lineup. Note the coaches in the background: one is demonstrating what he wants the player to do while the other is paying particularly close attention to the player trying to recreate the first coaches' demonstration. Love the column. Keep it up (no pun intended)."
Shad S., of Bountiful, Utah, says, "I know you probably have gotten so many of these unintentionally dirty photos. But you HAVE to post this one. The look on Jerry Hughes' face is classic."
I DON'T THINK THIS GUY ENJOYED THOSE LINKS
Ed, of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., says, "The guy who came up with the 'unintentionally dirty' photos scheme should be fired immediately. SI has stooped to new lows in order to be 'cool.'
AN ANNUAL LINK I FORGOT TO USE THIS WEEK
Douglas Woodworth, of Apfelbach, Germany, says, "I would like to share some cool news with you and your viewers. The 2011 NFL, FBS, and FCS football helmet schedules can be downloaded from www.mghelmets.com. Each helmet is actually a link that takes you that team's schedule. Not to mention that MG's helmet website is one of the best out there. Thanks."
BUT HOW DO YOU REALLY FEEL
(The reader below had some thoughts after seeing my video interview with The Miz, who ripped LeBron James. Also, I'm posting as is, with no edits. I literally don't know what half of it means.)
Mike, of Arlington, Va., says, "that lebron james rant Miz goes on in minute 4 gave me chills. I want them to meet awkwardly somewhere in public, like a quiznos. the scenario would be simple, lebron is in line in front of Miz, lebron orders a mediterranean chicken salad. no dressing. Miz orders a large chicken carbonara. Lebron pays in cash while Miz waits for his sandwich, and is short 5 cents. He turns to the person next to him to ask for a nickel. It's the Miz. the Miz meekly looks in his pockets for a nickel, as he surreptitiously grabs his toasted sandwich from the sandwich grillmaster. He says, 'Looks like I don't have a nickel, but I do have a...' and then slaps the s--- out of lebron in the face with his sandwich, spewing melted provolone on the grillmaster and his patrons. Miz grabs the mic he keeps with him in case of these situations, "YOU ACRID [benedict] ARNOLD OF AKRON! YOU WANNABE PANSY EATING BUBBLE BATH TAKING BOLLYWOOD BLOGGING DOUBLE A BREAST BRA BUYING GLUE SNIFFER! I'VE GOT A CHAMPION CHIP PROMISE FOR YOU...(gives his trademark look, slow turn around, snaps back to lebron) I'M A REAL CHAMPION AND I'M GONNA CHIP ALL YOUR TEETH!" lebron doesn't know how to handle this, and awkwardly hands Miz his salad. the Miz pulls a nickel out of his pocket and hands it to the grillmaster. salad in hand he walks out of the store as thunderous applause erupts from behind him."
THIS GUY *REALLY* LIKES TROUGHS
(I mentioned in Thursday's P.M. Hot Clicks that the Cubs were asking fans if they should get rid of the troughs in Wrigley Field. This didn't sit well with the reader below.)
Shermhawks, of Stockton, Calif., says, "Thanks, a--hole for cheering for the most efficient way to move men in and out of a rest room so we can drink more beer and watch more game. Obviously, you goombahs of N.Y. stature are clueless to the joys of life: baseball, beer, and actually watching it without waiting an hour to urinate. Thanks."
I GUESS WE NEED A POLL FOR THIS
Jon D., of Matawan, N.J., says, "Hey, Jimmy! Huge fan of Hot Clicks! I need your help settling a debate between me and my girlfriend concerning how toilet paper should roll. Should it be over the top or underneath? I say underneath. What do you think? Random Poll of the Day?"
Andy Roddick is on the latest edition of the Hot Clicks Podcast. Topics include Tiger Woods, the Miami Heat, fantasy football, Brooklyn Decker and much more. Listen to the show below or download it on iTunes.
The Hot Clicks Podcast