Player Ratings to the Theme of Pasta
A note from the author: I really like pasta. Note 2: I'm heading to Italy soon and have pasta on my mind.
But, like many of you, I have preferences when it comes to the type of pasta that I enjoy. Shapes and texture matter. What type of sauce you put on a pasta should match with the type of pasta that you use. Everything should be complimentary, much like all the players on a basketball team (you see what I did there?) so today we will rate the players according to different pastas.
Remember, the rating system can be found here, and feel free to debate my excellent choices in pasta in the discord discussion below.
5 Stars:
Tortellini
Tortellini are the king of pasta because they are stuffed. You could really sub in any type right here (ravioli, tortelloni, tortellacci, etc) because they are all great. But for me, tortellini take the cake because of the traditional filling of prosciutto, mortadella, and parmigiano-reggiano cheese. So, so good.
Remy Martin. This is two games in a row with Remy as a five star, and again, it’s deserving. KU absolutely doesn’t win this game without Martin. Barring a heat check style run where he chucked up some garbage in the second half, Remy was amazing. Twenty points, four assists, and seven rebounds.
4.5 Stars:
Tagliatelle
If I’m eating a long noodle, I want it to be flat to maximize the amount of sauce that sticks to it. Could easily substitute fettuccine here as well. That would be an excellent substitute.
Jalen Wilson’s jump shots weren’t going in and he got into foul trouble, but his driving was great and his rebounding was superb. He had a double-double with 14 and 14 while playing seemingly every position on the court. Maybe don’t fire up fast break threes when you’re the five though Jalen. Cool?
4 Stars:
Rotini/Fucilli
This is the star of the show for pasta salad and I love pasta salad. I love how the all of the ingredients can get stuck in the little coils of the spiral. Delicious.
No one else gets this high of a rating.
3.5 Stars:
Rigatoni
Got a thick meaty sauce? Rigatoni does well for this as the sauce gets stuck inside the giant tube.
Chrischai Agbraun. The combo of these two guys was good, but certainly not great. With a combined 10 of 23 from the field but only two of five from deep, it was clear that Creighton designed their defense to stop Ochai Agbaji and Christian Braun. Maybe I'm rating these guys a little low, but that's because the expectation is so high.
David McCormack might be higher on this list than people anticipated, but that block near the end was colossal. Not much Dave could do out on the perimeter defensively, and the Blue Jay’s red hot shooting made it look worse than it was. What was he supposed to do, get close so one of those guys has a free drive into the lane? DMac finished with seven points, six rebounds, two steals, and two blocks.
Jalen Coleman-Lands nailed a big three and put a little move on a dude down low to grab his other bucket.
3 Stars:
Spaghetti
A standard that works well with anything. Red sauce? Yep. Creamy sauces? No prob. Olive oil based? That works. It’s just a tad too ubiquitous to be higher rated.
Dajaun Harris’s game wasn’t bad, it’s just not what KU needed on Saturday. He’ll keep starting, Remy will keep coming off the bench, they’ll play together sometimes, and hopefully KU can keep this chemistry thing going.
KJ Adams and Mitch Lightfoot were asked to try to slow down the three point barrage by Creighton and it kind of worked. I guess.
2 Stars:
Novelty colored pasta
Unless I'm in a fancy restaurant where the chef is painstakingly creating flavored pastas, I don’t need them. The typical pasta that you buy at the store loses the flavor of whatever they are trying to impart anyway. Do the green pieces really taste that much different than the orange ones? Not from a dried pasta box, they don’t.
Joseph Yesufu made some questionable passing decisions and was yanked almost immediately.
1 Star:
Angel Hair
I just don’t like the texture of this type of pasta, it bothers my mouth.
No one rated as a one star.
