The "One Thing" Taylor Swift Doesn't Have

Taylor Swift may seem like the woman who has it all: a net worth north of a billion dollars, 14 Grammy Awards, 118 Guinness World Records (look it up!), millions—if not billions—of adoring fans, and (at long last!) a smoking hot boyfriend who seems like a keeper.
THE HYPE MAN THE HEAD KISS 🥹🤍 Travis and Taylor tonight, Amsterdam N2 pic.twitter.com/dEnxtAh4RZ
— Taylor Swift Updates (@SwiftNYC) July 5, 2024
What's more, Taylor is not merely a titan in the entertainment industry. She is also a political juggernaut. Her recent endorsement of Kamala Harris on Instagram not only received 10 million likes in barely 48 hours but also caused new voter registrations to skyrocket. (We see you, Swifties!)
Still, there's something missing in her life. Don't believe me? The lyrics don't lie!
And it was like slow motion
- Taylor Swift, "The Moment I Knew"
Standing there in my party dress
In red lipstick
With no one to impress
And they're all laughing
As I'm looking around the room
BUT THERE WAS ONE THING MISSING
And that was the moment I knew
When it comes down to it, despite her superstar talent and stratospheric fame, Tay Tay still doesn't have any decent trading cards. Think about that for a second. She's literally the world's biggest star, and even her best licensed card is, as far as I'm concerned, just another picture to burn.
Let's start with Exhibit A, her rookie card. (For the non-collectors out there, a musician's rookie card is typically their first official card from a major set, which often makes it the most sought after of all their cards.) In Taylor's case, her rookie card came as part of the 2011 Topps "American Pie" set.
Given that collectors will likely need to spend at least three digits on this card, the least they could hope for is that it looks dope AF. For instance, maybe the card's photo could show Taylor owning the stage, guitar in hand, as a sold-out arena filled with teens, tweens, moms, and girl dads mouths every word of "Dear John?" I mean let's freaking go, am I right?
That certainly would have added some dazzle and sizzle to T. Swizzle, but unfortunately Topps blazed a very different trail. They instead went with (checks notes...) Kanye ruining Taylor's big moment at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards! CRINGE! Talk about an anti-hero!
Six years later, Topps again "honored" Swift on cardboard, this time in the company's throwback "Wacky Packs" release. The set included two cards of the pop queen, but suffice it to say neither card was particularly flattering. Instead, the cards took pot shots at Taylor's relationship struggles. I guess Taylor was right. The haters really are gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.
To date there is only one official Taylor Swift card I'm aware of that doesn't give off major diss track vibes: Taylor's 2021 Leaf Metal Pop Century auto. Unfortunately, the card ain't exactly a thing of beauty, One might even say "the picture frame is empty," as there is no image of Swift anywhere on the card. And can we talk about that signature for a second?
So there you go, Topps and Panini. The door remains wide open for one of you to usher in a "Brand New World" by issuing the first Taylor Swift card truly befitting a global icon, that is, if you're "...Ready for It?" In the meantime, can you blame the bad-blooded Taylor collectors out there for thinking they're never ever getting back together with you?