Matthew’s Musings: SEC quarterback edition
Occasionally, it’s good to stretch the old lines a bit and take a long look into the odd places in the SEC that aren't Auburn. A little peek at the competition. And more than likely, take a shot or two at their fanbases. So, without further ado, and if this can get snuck by the editor, here is a tongue-in-cheek pre-portal glance at each SEC school’s quarterback room. I was going to go in alphabetical order, but I refused. You all understand the reason. Those folks go last. So, in reverse alphabetical order:
Vanderbilt University
The Commodores didn’t even bother to bring in a quarterback for the 2023 season. That is how confident they are in their current stable of quarterbacks. They have quietly gone about their Spring training with an air of confidence that they can have a winning season. The main reason for this confidence is starting quarterback A.J. Swann. They also maintained redshirt junior Ken Seals as a more than adequate backup for Swann. Add in two redshirt freshmen, Drew Dicker and Walter Taylor, and the ‘Dores have put together something that could be special. There is no punchline there. It is for real.
I have nothing to say about their fan base as the Vanderbilt fans are almost exclusively alums. They are usually very bright. Terrifyingly so. I have also watched enough college baseball to know they are extremely good with the bats. While most of the attendees of their home games will be alums, all 71 of them show up on some game days, they are just a group of nice folks you don’t want to mess with. I feel like they control the way my microwave runs and the streaming ability in my house so that is all I have to say about that. Anchors away Mateys....
Texas A&M University
I must confess, I do not know all that much about the Aggies other than they love losing to Auburn and love beating Alabama. That part is good. I have also seen a Twitter string going around about how they have the creepiest pep rally in all of sports. Other than that, they really haven’t been of much significance in the decade or so that they have been in the SEC West. Usually, before the season, their fans and all the prognosticators rank them very high in the polls that do not matter. However, I cannot remember them ever fulfilling those goals by the time the polls that DO matter come around. I digress.
As far as quarterbacks go, they have a few solid ones. Conner Weigman is the presumed starter after a decent finish to the 2022 season. They also have former LSU quarterback Max Johnson as well as a good dual-threat quarterback in Marcel Reed. They would seem poised to finally make a run at the SEC West title that they seem poised to make a run at every year. My inside sources tell me that it really is a coaching issue. Perhaps it is time they pony up some real money and get a big-time coach? Time will tell. I won't say their battle cry. I am not sure what gig is, but it sounds like a horrible thing for an Aggie to do.
University of Tennessee
The Tennessee Volunteers fans are mostly world renowned for gathering into large masses at game time and throwing trash mixed with other objects onto their own field. Oddly, after these actions, their departing quarterback, Hendon Hooker, went on record saying he thinks the media gives the Tennessee football program nothing but disrespect. Soon afterward, Tennessee fans all joined in supporting Hooker’s comments. As of this writing, there were no definite plans as to how they would handle this issue, but it is believed they will show their anger about being disrespected by gathering into a large crowd and disrespectfully throwing trash at their own field during a football game. I am not positive about that. It would have required an internet search and seeing how the Volunteers haven’t been relevant in the SEC since the late 90’s and everything that is related to the program is bathed in a color of orange that the sun itself couldn't look at, I didn’t want to spend that kind of time on it. They do have a pretty cool-looking dog as their mascot. I don’t know what he volunteered for, but it must be important. It is forced to wear that hideous orange as well.
They also have a few quarterbacks. Joe Milton would appear to be their starter again. They are really excited about him this time. Not the first time. But this time. They do have five-star phenom Nico Lamaleava as a backup. There are no jokes to be made about this young man. He looks legit and may get Tennessee back to a place where they can lose to Georgia and Alabama and still feel good about themselves. It is a slow process. Twenty-five years and counting. I think their battle cry is “Don’t hurt us Bama/Dawgs” depending on the time of year.
University of South Carolina
The Gamecocks *Backspaces a few observations* play in the truly beautiful town of Columbia, South Carolina. It is one of the prettier places in the SEC and Williams-Brice Stadium is an amazing place to watch a football game. It really is a shame they don’t play what the rest of the SEC calls football there very often. What they do accomplish there is play odd chicken noises and a techno song that is called a storm in the sand, or something to that effect, at very loud volumes with disturbing frequency. I think this is why Auburn was so angry with them in their only SEC championship experience. I am guessing Auburn was angry because why else would they blow them out 56-17. Their battle cry is some sort of weird chicken noise. It is unsettling. It makes me hungry. Luckily, South Carolina doesn't comprehend irony, and has several great chicken joints nearby.
The Gamecocks are really excited about their second-year transfer portal pick-up quarterback Spencer Rattler. Rattler was a five-star recruit coming into Oklahoma. This was despite a high school issue where he was suspended for a better part of a season for violating a district code of conduct. He was poised to take a run at the Heisman trophy for the Sooners in 2021 but had some sort of behavioral/poor play issue that caused him to be benched in a Game versus Texas and then decided to leave for South Carolina. There is absolutely no pattern there and I am sure he will be fine. He led the Gamecocks to an 8-5 record in 2022 and everyone at South Carolina is hoping he can do it again in 2023. Consistency is important. If they want to shoot for a 7-6 record, they could bring in one of the five backup quarterbacks they currently have in their room. Yeah, they have six quarterbacks on their roster. I told you, it really is a lovely campus. I kind of want to play there too. I think they would bring me in at quarterback. They did away with defensive rooms to make the QB room larger and more luxurious.
University of Missouri–Columbia
The Tigers, wait, are they in the SEC? Oh, yes. I remember them getting spanked handily by Auburn one year and Alabama the next in consecutive SEC championship games. Their claim to fame, so to speak. I have no other references here. Just look up what happened in their game against Auburn in 2022. Their battle cry is “we can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory like nobody else.” I give it two thumbs up.
As far as Mizzou quarterbacks go, I went to a Missouri Football fan page for more information on their quarterbacks. It reads like an obituary. They are almost apologetic that they might have a decent QB room. They don’t do “fan” properly there. Anyway, they DO have a strong quarterback room up there. Brady Cook is a decent option, now that his shoulder is repaired, with plenty of SEC experience, and Jake Garcia transferred in from Miami. Mix in two good prospects backing that up and they should feel strong about making a bowl in 2023. I think this is the most talented team Missouri has had in a decade.
University of Mississippi
Ole Miss Rebels. With a mascot named “the University of Mississippi Rebel Black Bear” and Lane Kiffin at head coach, what more could you want? Popcorn? I kid, he is really entertaining. The bear I mean, not Kiffin. It's not a scary bear, but more like a trash-talking teddy bear. That time I was talking about Kiffin. They are in Mississippi. Hence the name. Really not a lot to work with here. Auburn does love their ex-coaches. Tuberville, Freeze, et cetera. And those coaches like being at Auburn after Ole Miss because then they really have chances to win. It is a nice change. I have never heard their battle cry as I have never made it past The Grove on game days down there. If you have been there and done that then you know that beats anything they will ever put on the field.
They have a plethora of quarterbacks vying for the starting role at Ole Miss. They have three SEC-caliber starters in their room right now. Not a bad place to be. Returning Jaxson Dart, Spencer Sanders out of Oklahoma State, and LSU transfer Walker Howard. I hate to say it, but if this is handled correctly and with the surrounding pieces in place, Ole Miss could be a dangerous team this year. Kiffin has truly worked some portal magic and has players buying in. Time will tell if it comes to fruition.
Mississippi State
The Bulldogs. Why they didn’t go with the Weathermen is beyond me. Perhaps they wanted people to think they were Georgia. On their own website, Miss State refers to themselves as “The Best Value” college in Mississippi. I thought that was their battle cry until I went to Davis Wade Stadium. Apparently, their battle cry is the ringing of a cowbell. I just read an article about how Mississippi has the lowest life expectancy from birth in the United States. Lower than some third-world countries. I am no doctor, but I think the cowbells might have something to do with that. My sources tell me that Christopher Walken has finally said he has had enough cowbell. Their real claim to fame was the outstanding ice available at their concession stand. Sadly, the guy with the recipe graduated and they no longer have ice. They do have a few quarterbacks though:
Will Rogers is their presumed starter. He looked outstanding in the Spring and if he stays healthy the Bulldogs should have a much faster pace and prolific offense this year. State added some value depth by attaining Mike Wright out of the portal from Vanderbilt. A solid dual threat quarterback. The Bulldogs will have to parse their quarterbacks down a bit as they currently have six in the room. That is not a bad problem to have. Also, on a personal note: Rest in peace Coach Leach. You are missed.
The rest of the SEC will be in part two.
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