I’m sure he’s never heard this one before, but Jerome Tang has the same last name as every astronaut’s favorite drink. So today, we’re going to rate the Jayhawk performances to the theme of space. Again, the criteria:
5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.
4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.
4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.
3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.
3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.
2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.
1.5 Stars: Just barely not a one star.
1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.
5 Stars: The Universe
Something so vast that it can’t be defined. Does it go on forever or does it end? No idea.
Jalen Wilson scored a career high 38 in the loss, and really if it weren't for the Denton, Texas native, KU would've been on the road back to Lawrence far earlier. It's rare to get a five star in a loss, but this performance was worthy. Added nine rebounds was well.
4.5 Stars: Comets/Shooting Stars/Meteor Showers
Have you ever gone out on a clear night when a meteor show is happening? If not, I highly recommend it. Marvelous.
No one here.
4 Stars: Telescopic Photos from Space
Man, these don't even look real, but you know what? Man, are they cool.
KJ Adams was so good in the first half that I would've loved to see him be able to see this game through. Did manage to score 17 in 34 minutes of action. Side note: For having the refs in their pockets, a whole lot of fouls got called on KU. Weird.
3.5 Stars: The Space/Time continuum
When are we going to get this figured out? I mean, every sci-fi movie predicted that we’d be able to time travel by now. What’s taking so long?
Dajuan Harris's 11 assists was impressive. Under a lot of pressure at the end on the final play as if the K-State defense knew that things runs through the little guy.
Gradey Dick had a solid performance from everywhere but the three point stripe. Rebounding (7), Stealing (4), and blocking (2) were some of the non shooting highlights. Wish he would've been in the game at the end but a stupid foul on K-State late in a shift clock for his fourth foul was the first nail in his game's coffin.
3 Stars: Apollo 13 (the movie)
Sure, it’s critically acclaimed and the effects are cool and they have a star studded cast, but I don’t really need to see a movie where I know EXACTLY how it is going to end.
After a hot start, I was expecting more from Joseph Yesufu. Finished with his five points that he scored in the opening frame.
Zach Clemence and Zuby Ejiofor did their best, but neither is KJ Adams and this could be a problem going forward.
2 Stars: Rich dudes going into space
These guys are so desperate to never actually give their money to anything that would help society that they blow it all on going to space. And not even real space. Just out of the atmosphere space. Get over yourselves and maybe end world hunger because you could do that immediately if you cared.
In a game that required driving, I would've figured Bobby Pettiford would've at least driven the ball once. He didn't.
1.5 Stars: Tang
This drink isn't good. I used to want it when I was a kid (probably because of the space connections) but it always turned into a me wishing I was drinking an actual orange juice.
The only reason Kevin McCullar isn't a one star is because I didn't think I should compare anyone to that particular category. He was terrible in this one.
1 Star: The Challenger explosion
The obvious one star and people of a certain age remember watching it live on TV at school. Brutal.
No one should be compared to this tragedy and no one will ever be as bad as that.
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