A Michigan Football Fan's Guide To The Next 9 Months

Here's what awaits Michigan football fans each month between now and kickoff to the 2020 season.

December
Another solid top 15 recruiting class will sign, but it seems almost anti-climactic since all these current commitments except one have been committed since late July. Plus, all you really care about anyway is whether or not any of them can help Michigan beat Ohio State next November. Aside from the early signing day, you spend the rest of the month trying to convince yourself the Wolverines could shock the world against mighty Alabama in the Citrus Bowl. For nothing screams "confidence" quite like hoping several of your opponent's best players voluntarily decide to sit out because they view playing you as irrelevant.

January
The Wolverines don't shock the world against mighty Alabama in the Citrus Bowl.

February
You dig in your heels with your "do more say less" mantra when it comes to Michigan football. You vow, once more, not to buy into the offseason hype. You've permanently lowered your expectations once and for all! And you're glad basketball is in full bloom to take your mind off the gridiron.

March
The Madness provides a welcome distraction from spring football hyperbole, but you know 10 minutes after Michigan's postseason run ends you'll get pulled back in.

April
Both Dylan McCaffrey and Joe Milton look like All-Americans in the spring game, and now you're wondering why the coaches were so loyal to Shea Patterson when they could've been playing these higher-ceiling guys all along. Not to mention, we all know the new guys, as they perennially do, look more athletic and faster than the guys they replaced. A tradition unlike any other.

May
After another victorious spring game you no longer think Michigan's annual spring trip detracts from where the focus should be year-round -- beating Ohio State. Watching those impressive drills against little more than air once more reminds you that at Michigan the student-athlete is holistically important. So you're proud again of your favorite team's enlightened approach, and pridefully bask in the only compliments you'll get from Paul Finebaum all year.

June
Like manna from heaven, the preseason magazines have arrived to provide you college football nourishment while you're lost in the offseason wilderness. And for the 16th year in a row, your favorite magazine is the one that predicts this is finally the year Michigan beats Ohio State and wins the Big Ten.

July
Big Ten media days arrive and you sense a quiet confidence coming from Ann Arbor. Of course, Michigan football under Jim Harbaugh doesn't do anything quiet, but don't let precedent get in the way of your most beloved fan tropes. Especially since the players are saying all the right things about new leadership and everyone's improved. Plus, Jimmy lets us know this is the best team chemistry and coaching staff he's had yet.

August
The haters are out in full force. The likes of David Pollack, Barrett Sallee, and Clay Travis are here to bury the Wolverines on the preseason shows as overrated yet again. But you know better. Haters gonna hate, especially when they don't have access to those glowing insider practice reports you do about how everybody and everything is better than it's ever been. Besides, this time it's different, because it's coming from anonymous insiders who have never been this optimistic before. And no, smart aleck, it's not the same anonymous insiders who said the same thing last year, and the year before that. Sure, Michigan again this year is the only school that doesn't let the Big Ten Network see anything during its camp tour, but that's because the coaches are saving it for the season-opener at Washington. No sense giving the Huskies a free scout, right?

I conclude with this confession: this is really autobiographical.