Razorback Fans' Takeover of Radio Show Proves Fans Exhausted by Transfer Portal Talk

Hog faithful keep hosts arguing whether chocolate required in s'mores instead of moving on to portal news because they're done with it all

Author:
Kent Smith
Publish date:
May 12, 2023 11:49 AM EDT

In this story:

Arkansas Razorbacks

FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. – At least one phase of the transfer portal is over and it doesn't appear to have come soon enough for Arkansas fans.

Thursday was the last day for college basketball players to hop into the transfer portal, so theoretically, players choosing to leave a roster, whether it be of their own accord or at the strong encouragement of their coach, should be done. The key there is choosing to leave. Technically coaches have until July to decide whether they are going to renew any players on one-year scholarships, which is almost all college basketball players, but fans truly don't want to hear about that.

If there's need for proof that by the end of the window that Arkansas fans were mentally done with portal talk, one has to look no further than last Wednesday's edition of the Northwest Arkansas afternoon drive show "Ruscin and Zach" on the ESPN affiliate out of Fayetteville.

It was a slower news day, but there was plenty to discuss. Makhi Mitchell had posted an announcement that he was going to return and Razorback basketball initially supported him by sharing his announcement on their social media only to withdraw their support a short while later. By the way, this is a big part of why Razorback fans are over the portal at this point. Celebrating beloved players coming back when they announce only to find out later that they are being shown the door has made them jaded.

Also, there was plenty of Ron Holland talk to be had as many people thought an announcement would come any day now despite Texas trying to make a show of not formally releasing him. There was also the exclusion of Razorback guard Davonte Davis from the NBA combine and G League invites along with the inclusion of Arkansas target Grant Nelson on the combine list to discuss. Derrian Ford was also reportedly working on scheduling visits to LSU and Ole Miss. The option to fill tons of time with transfer portal related talk was borderline limitless.

That is until Razorback fans highjacked the show. It's common practice in radio to start things off light-hearted with a bit of playful banter that feels more like people just hanging out at the local establishment shooting the breeze before getting into the meat of what needs to be discussed. It not only provides a nice transition from one show to the other, it helps build a relationship with the audience because they get to know the hosts as people and not as simply a news and sports opinion filter. It also helps keep people from freaking out on as extreme of a level as they might otherwise if there's an opinion shared with which members of the audience might disagree. After all, these are your friends that you hang out with in the car every day. You know about their home lives, their pets and all the weird things that have happened to them on a daily basis.

That's why Ruscin and Zach chose to start the day off by throwing their partner, DQ, an Arkansas student who was preparing to graduate from the university this week, under the bus for her unnatural take on what constitutes a s'more.

"I think that a s'more is two graham crackers with a marshmallow in between," DQ said. "The chocolate is optional. You don't need the chocolate. I don't judge people who eat the chocolate on their s'mores."

It was supposed to be a simple segment to get things warmed up. However, Arkansas fans were so anxious to talk about anything except the transfer portal that they dogpiled the show with responses that kept s'mores talk going for an entire hour. Response after response poured in as people lost their minds at the idea that someone would call a marshmallow sandwich with graham cracker for the bread a s'more. It felt like those times in high school when students figured out a topic that could get a teacher talking that would eat up nearly the entire class time without going over the assigned materials students don't want to talk about. Everyone jumps in to keep things off track and that's exactly what Razorback fans did.

Texts flooded in:

"That's idiotic!" – Seth in Forth Smith
"DQ sits on a throne of lies!" – John in the 479
"What you're having is a Moon Pie." Texter from the 479
"We have given her too much power. She gets to decide what food's called?" Matt in South Carolina
"Go take a lap!" – unidentified texter
"YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE CHOCOLATE!!!" – Jacob

To which DQ replied, "The chocolate is not the key part of the s'more. The marshmallow is. You guys can eat chocolate with a s'more but that doesn't make it anymore of a s'more than it is when I eat it without the chocolate. You don't have to have the chocolate. It's not crucial and eating a s'more with chocolate sucks. It's too messy."

The texts continued. People began inundating the show with definitions of a s'more. Example after example of other things that would no longer be what it's called if an ingredient is removed such as sweet tea or a Snickers bar filled the text line. One fan from Pennsylvania, the chocolate capital of America, pointed out that the recipe was first published by Hershey's, after which DQ chided everyone for being a victim of "Big Chocolate" propaganda. They even turned to ChatGPT for an AI take on the matter. At one point a fan called in to blame it on liberal indoctrination by the University of Arkansas that turned a girl from Elkins into someone who could believe a s'more could happen without chocolate.

At every opportunity to steer the show toward transfer portal talk, Razorback fans amped up the s'mores debate instead.
"DQ is unAmerican." – Kendall
"Hold your ground DQ. You're wrong, but hold your ground." – Dennis in Springdale
"Give her the diploma. She has it all figured out." Russell in Mountain Home
"You need another year of college." – Greg

Social media chimed in also and a poll was established on the matter. Not a poll related to the transfer portal, because that would have gotten little to no interaction. A poll on s'mores that ran during the hour.

Think about where this year started. Arkansas fans thought they were getting ready for a run at the NCAA national championship, yet weren't a legitimate contender by late December. The one solace fans clung to was that at least there wouldn't be a lot of transfer portal drama because the players who weren't going to the NBA were either Top 100 players, transfers Musselman brought in, or someone we are told Musselman considers as his own son in Davonte Davis. This time of year was supposed to be about snagging a few high profile transfers to fill the NBA draft spots. The exhausting drip of players being asked to strongly consider going somewhere else as various players from other teams popped into the portal wasn't supposed to be a thing.

After a full month of this, fans are done. Even with Holland, fans have hit a point where they're saying either come to Arkansas or don't. Just make an official decision so this can be over. That's why a blissful, good natured argument over something as simple as whether graham cracker, chocolate and a marshmallow make a s'more is exactly what fans are craving. The portal is simply too long and emotionally draining for them.

And for the record, just like a Snickers without nuts is basically a Milky Way and not a Snickers, a s'more isn't a s'more without chocolate. However, it's a free country, and as DQ celebrates her graduation from the University of Arkansas today, she's free to enjoy her non-s'mores to her heart's content without having to worry about whether she will have to toss it aside to take to the airwaves to discuss breaking news about another Razorback hitting the transfer portal. Much like DQ's time as an undergraduate at Arkansas, that part of the journey is over.