Robert Paylor Shares His Lessons in `Paralyzed to Powerful'

Former Cal rugby player, a quadriplegic since his 2017 injury, is a motivational speaker and an author

Robert Paylor | Photo by Jeff Faraudo

First, Robert Paylor had to survive.

Then he had to figure out how to live.

Against all odds, he did both.

A sophomore on the Cal rugby team in 2017, Paylor was left a quadriplegic when he suffered a broken neck resulting from an illegal play by an opposing player in the national championship game. 

Doctors weren’t sure he’d make it. He’d never play rugby again, of course, but they also warned him that regaining movement and walking someday both were long shots.

Now 28 years old, Paylor still is in a wheelchair. But he will never quit working to change that. 

Exhibiting uncommon faith, resolve and toughness, Paylor has overcome obstacles most of us can barely comprehend. His life is wholly different than it was before the injury, but he has a full life. 

Robert Paylor | Photo by Jason Cole

He is happy, married and has purpose by inspiring others as a professional motivational speaker. He also has written a book, Paralyzed to Powerful, Lessons from a Quadriplegic’s Journey.

The message in Paylor’s speeches — to Fortune 500 companies including Intel and Samsung, but also to schools and sports teams — and in his book goes beyond simply describing what he’s been through, although he does that in gripping detail.

“I didn’t want this book to be all just memoir and (readers) just thinking, `Wow, it’s amazing what Robert’s overcome.’ I really wanted the reader looking at what paralyzes them on a mental, emotional level,” he said. 

“In the introduction, that’s the first line: What paralyzes you? I want people immediately thinking about that. Yes, drawing inspiration from the story but taking practical tools and takeaways from this.”

Paylor and co-author Jason Cole assembled a terrific book that almost anyone would enjoy. I read it in less than two days, going from one page to the next because I wanted to know what was coming. 

While the current Cal rugby team faces Life University on Saturday in the national collegiate championship game at Indianapolis, Paralyzed to Powerful hits the shelves on Tuesday — the eighth anniversary of Paylor’s injury in the 2017 title game against Arkansas State.

The book available in paperback, hard cover, ebook and audio book, which Paylor personally narrates. It can be purchased on Amazon or at major book stores, including Barnes and Noble.

Here’s my interview with Paylor: 

After his injury, Paylor faced a long stretch at hospitals in both the Bay Area and Colorado. Once doctors guided him to survival, Paylor began a grueling rehabilitation process that is ongoing. 

Beyond that, he had to come to grips emotionally with his new set of extreme circumstances.

“When I was in the hospital, there were those moments at night when it was just me and my reality and my thoughts. And those were difficult,” he said. 

Paylor had plenty of day-time support from medical staff, friends and family, but most of his recovery was on him. 

“I still had to go through that grieving process eventually because so much of my identity, my meaning and my purpose in life was gone,” he said. “I wasn’t a D-1 athlete competing for rugby national championships anymore. I was just trying to be able to feed myself again. Or breathe again.”

Back on campus 18 months later, Paylor was determined to live without a constant caregiver. He understood that would be challenging. “What I couldn’t anticipate was just how difficult the loneliness of it could be,” he said.

Giving readers a glimpse into that aspect of his life was important, Cole counseled Paylor. “No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader,” his co-author said. “I needed to go to that emotional state I as hoping to put a reader in as well. That was its own kind of cathartic process itself.”

Paylor talks in the video above about having balance motivations. That began with focusing on his own recovery, but eventually also involved finding a purpose bigger than himself.

“I started really needing purpose in my life because I didn’t find just training to be purposeful,” he explained. “In fact, it’s quite frustrating to really be training and trying to walk and move again and have that comparison to my previous life where I was putting 400 pounds on my back and squatting it. 

"Now I’m just trying to stand in a static position without collapsing under my own body weight.”

The challenge was huge, but it wasn’t enough to satisfy Paylor’s ambitions.

“I’m still in a wheelchair today and statistics say I will spend the rest of my life in this wheelchair,” he said. “Now, I don’t believe I’m going to be that statistic. I believe with my whole heart that I will get out of this wheelchair one day. If I don’t, I’m going to die trying. 

“Because the purpose of my life isn’t just to get back more motion. It’s to share this story with others and help them overcome a challenge in their life.”

Two months before Paylor was injured, Talon Bonanno — a 14-year-old attending Jesuit High in a Sacramento suburb, Paylor’s alma mater — was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in his kidney. His cancer had progressed to stage 4 and it eventually took his life but not before Paylor provided some inspiration.

Paylor had coached Bonanno in a summer camp the year before and his example after being paralyzed made a difference in his young friend.

“When I got that message from Talon’s mom that me just staying strong and putting a smile on my face, that I was helping Talon in his battle of overcoming stage-four cancer,” Paylor said. “It showed me, whoa, this isn’t about me. This injury isn’t simply about me being able to walk again. 

“This is about making an impact on people’s lives in a way that I never would have been able to do if I didn’t have this injury, and I didn’t break my neck. That’s what gave me purpose in my life, being able to serve others.”

In a startling statement both in his book and during our conversation, Paylor said, “I mean it with utmost honesty, I wouldn’t trade this injury away because if I did I would be trading away interactions like I had with Talon and like I’ve had with other overcoming cancer diagnoses or suicidal ideations.

“This injury gave me the ability to help them through that. The road hasn’t been easy but it got me where I am today. I’m grateful for that road.”

When Paylor returned to campus, he was immediately approached by Solly Fulp, a professor at the Haas School of Business. Fulp helped Paylor with the application process to get into the program, and he asked Paylor to speak to one of his classes.

“You have this very visible challenge,” Fulp told him. “But for most of us, others can’t see what we go through.”

Fulp said sharing the lessons he learned during his ordeal could help others overcome what paralyzes them.

Cal rugby coach Jack Clark helped Paylor organize his 20-minute address. The day arrived and Paylor called it “transformational.”

In the video above, he details that interaction with fellow students and how it gave him direction going forward.

“The reaction was incredible. They’re laughing, they’re crying. At the end, it’s a standing ovation,” Paylor recalled. “I remember I went back to my dorm room and I’m like, `This is it. This is what I’m here to do.”

As a range of terrifying thoughts raced through Paylor’s mind while he was laying injured on the turf, one of his first fears was this: Who would ever want to marry me?

“I don’t have a choice to take on what I take on,” he said. “I was so worried because whoever would be my life partner would have to make this choice. Every day, an immense sacrifice for the rest of their life. 

“I don’t think many people would take that on, but I know my wife does. . . . Nobody can argue with me: I’m the luckiest person in the world because she is just incredible.”

Paylor experienced serious frustration over receiving nothing close to an apology from the opposing player or team involved in his injury. Not a word. Ever. 

USA Rugby investigated but declined to assess blame, despite what Paylor and Jack Clark say was clear video evidence of an illegal headlock. 

“Every instinct in my body was to be mad, to hold onto rage and let that dictate the rest of my life,” Paylor said. 

Eventually, Paylor recognized that approach wouldn’t provide any benefit.

“It just taught me a huge lesson, that forgiveness isn’t about removing guilt from someone who did wrong, it’s about removing those negative attachments from the person who was wronged,” he said. “I can’t think of a situation where holding onto that rage is the answer. I think forgiveness is always the answer.”

Throughout his long stay in the hospital, Paylor daydreamed of returning to Berkeley and earning his degree. “It was always like a carrot on a stick,” he said.

Paylor completed his undergrad work by the spring of 2020, but commencement ceremonies were canceled by the pandemic. When they were rescheduled for Aug. 21, 2021, Paylor was ready.

Assistant rugby coach Tom Billups — who served as Paylor’s post-injury trainer — stood in front of Paylor on the Greek Theater stage. Karsen, his girlfriend at the time, was behind him. 

Paylor heard his name called and stood himself up as cheering swelled. He took several steps, received his diploma and thrust his arm into the air.

“One of the triumphant moments,” he said. “A moment of pure bliss.”

Follow Jeff Faraudo on Twitter, Facebook and Bluesky

Recent articles:

Cal women's hoops adds transfer from LSU

Wisconsin transfer WR Mark Hamper commits to Cal

Two sites project Fernando Mendoza will be a first-pick in 2026 NFL draft

Former Cal running back Kadarius Calloway headed to New Mexico State