Kansas Jayhawks vs Tennessee Volunteers: Player Ratings to the Theme of Eggs
From time to time, a team has a dud of a game, lays an absolute egg. Such was the case for Kansas last night. So, in order to brighten your likely sullen mood, let’s talk eggs and the rate the performances accordingly. Here's the way we rate them:
5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.
4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.
4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.
3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.
3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.
2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.
1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.
Memorial No Star: Named after a former KU walk-on or obscure player and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.
5 Stars: Fried
This is the five star that can’t be beaten. The options are almost endless. Over easy, medium, sunny side up. On a hamburger, on a salad (creates more dressing!), in fried rice. For breakfast, for lunch, for dinner. There’s no wrong way here.
Nobody was even close to a five star, at least no one in a Kansas jersey.
4.5 Stars: Hard Boiled
Almost the five. Boiled eggs are amazing. Egg salad, chicken salad, on a green salad, by itself. Again, you can’t go wrong. Oh, and deviled eggs. Those are money.
Nope, no one here either.
4 Stars: Egg Man by The Beastie Boys
A classic. “Suckers they come a dime a dozen. And when I say dozen, you know what I’m talking about, boiii.” There’s also a sweet Green Eggs and Ham reference in that song.
Joseph Yesufu was the only player that performed moderately well in this one. Finished with 14 points and made half of his threes.
3.5 Stars: Meringue
Lemon meringue pie. Tasty. But have you ever just eaten meringue by itself? It’s common in Europe at sweets stores and bakeries. It’s kind of hard and crispy and sweet and delicious.
No one else was even above average against Tennessee.
3 Stars: Egg Puns
Eggcelent, Eggstaordinary, these types of things. They are kinda funny but can get old fast. And here’s another one that I want to turn into a controversy: there’s a popular Kansas City breakfast place called Eggtc. I know that it’s supposed to be pronounced Egg-cetera because they have much more than huevos on the menu. But let’s just ponder the greatness of it being pronounced Eggtacy. That’s better to me.
Jalen Wilson can’t do it all and while he did score 14 points, we expect more from him.
Dajuan Harris has proven to be the most important piece of the KU puzzle because when he isn’t in there, Kansas looks lost.
Kevin McCullar struggled in this one, as the size of Tennessee seemed to cause many Jayhawks to struggle. Finished with seven and seven.
2 Stars: When you see a broken egg that just fell out of a bird nest
Even if it’s a pigeon, I get sad.
Gradey Dick went missing in this game. Let’s hope that doesn’t become a trend when he can’t get his shot off. Finished with seven points.
KJ Adams couldn’t handle the size. Neither could Ernest Udeh or Zach Clemence. A bad day for KU’s bigs.
Give him time and MJ Rice will get there. Today, however, wasn’t a game built for him and he probably only played out of necessity.
1 Star: Rotten
Obviously.
No one was this bad.
Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:
Get well, Bobby Pettiford.
Zuby Ejiofor and Michael Jankovich also receive no star for their limited playing time.
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