Kansas vs. Chaminade: Player Ratings to the Theme of Plants with Cool Names

Kansas took care of business in a sloppy win against Chaminade.

Author:
Derek Noll
Publish date:
Nov 21, 2023 12:04 PM EST

In this story:

When you google “cool plant names” the first several entries you get are plants that you can name a child after. Ok, then. I guess If I really liked the name, I probably would’ve thought to name my kid Holly before I saw it on some list, but hey, that’s just me. You do you, Lily. Anyway, these ratings are an actual list of plants with cool names because most of us probably didn’t know (I know that I didn't) that the Chaminade Silverswords are named after a unique Hawaiian plant. Onward to the ratings.

The criteria:

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

5 Stars: Venus Fly Trap

There is not a cooler plant name out there and there never will be.

Again, with the level of opponent, no five-stars were given out.

4.5 Stars: Hawaiian Silverswords

These plants are cool, can store water like cacti, and are quite rare. That adds up to a high star rating for today’s list.

Hunter Dickinson was efficient, let’s just say that. He scored 31 points on 15 of 18 shooting and added 11 rebounds. Sure, he is bigger than everyone else out there, but the positioning that he gets and the fact that he rarely brings the ball back down means that his hands are always near the rim.

You would never have known it, but Kevin McCullar got another triple double, the first time in the modern era that a Kansas player has achieved that in back to back games. He scored 22, grabbed 11 rebounds, and had 10 assists. He even blocked two shots and had three steals. The one downside- five turnovers against a division two squad.

4 Stars: Cupid’s Dart

Keep in mind, faithful readers, that your author didn’t dig too deeply into his research for this one, so I actually have no idea what these look like, but I’ll assume they’re small and pointy.

KJ Adams deserves a lot of praise for even being available for this tournament, so while his stat line isn’t what it normally is, he gets high marks for his resilience. It was great to see his family travel to Hawaii with him to give him that extra bit of support he will undoubtedly need as he mourns the loss of his mother.

3.5 Stars: Red Hot Poker

Cool name, cool plant. On the other hand, the use of red hot poker is sometimes used when torturing. PSA: we will never have a ratings post to torture devices. That probably goes without saying, but now we're on the record.

As you watched the game, Dajuan Harris and Elmarko Jackson seemed to have better performances than their statistics would indicate. I thought that both moved the ball well, Harris ending with eight assists (one was an off the backboard pass to KJ) and Jackson with three. The two combined for six turnovers, many a result of underestimating the Silverswords, and those have to be cut in half to beat Marquette.

Johnny Furphy started the game in place of KJ Adams and played 17 minutes in total. He was another player that looked more active than the final box score would indicate, as I would’ve sworn that he had more than the two rebounds that were attributed to him.

3 Stars: Mother-in-law’s Tongue

I’m not sure how to interpret this, so I’m giving it the middle of the road three star and you can make up your mind.

Parker Braun played a lot less than you would’ve expected but with Hunter Dickinson unable to miss, there was no reason to put in “Christian’s younger brother” as Bill Walton routinely referred to him as.

Jamari McDowell played eleven minutes and made a basket, had an assist, and grabbed a rebound.

2 Stars: Mad Dog Skullcap

Hey botanists, you’re just trying too hard.

Will Nick Timberlake ever make a three again? I know it’s early, but this guy hasn’t impressed yet this year. Had a consolation dunk and that’s it in this one.