Kansas vs Oklahoma State: Player Ratings to the Theme of Musicians with Unique Names
It’s quite nice to stroll to a win, so in honor of a no stress win, we’re just going to have some fun. For today’s ratings, we are analyzing (very scientifically I might add) musicians' given names. And while really cool, names like The Edge, Bono, Sting, etc are disqualified for obvious reasons. But don't worry, they’ll be featured in a future installment of the ratings.
Because of his ability, Sting probably would’ve been just fine as Gordon, but it doesn’t quite sound cool, now does it? Anyway, today’s theme is musicians with unique (read: cool) given names. See if you agree with our list. But first, the criteria (but feel free to fast forward using our table of contents):
5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.
4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.
4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.
3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.
3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.
2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.
1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.
Memorial No Star: Named after former KU walk-on Chris Teahan and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.
5 Stars: Prince
Born Prince Rogers Nelson, is this dude the coolest guy to ever exist? Maybe. But what isn't debatable is that he is one of the greatest musicians to ever walk the Earth. Dude could play any instrument you put in front of him and do it better than almost anyone else.
No one was as good in this one as Prince was a musician.
4.5 Stars: Thelonious Monk
Holy moly is this one of the coolest names ever. What’s even more impressive is that his middle name is Sphere. I’m not sure if that was given or added once he was legally able to do so, but who cares. It's rad.
Johnny Furphy started the game like he was shot out of a cannon. A couple of fast break dunks and two three pointers lifted the Australian freshman to 15 points at the half. He didn’t score any more but didn’t need to as KU was rolling. He also grabbed seven rebounds, added two assists, and swatted two blocks in an impressive all-around game.
KJ Adams was all over the place again in this one. The bouncy forward was wrestling rebounds away from Cowboys (he finished with four), assisting his friends with pocket passes down low (he had five) and scoring with dunks and jumpers, finishing with 16 points.
4 Stars: Beyoncé Knowles
How many young girls will/have been be named after this icon? My guess is thousands, but give it up for the original.
KU’s dynamic duo of Hunter Dickinson and Kevin McCullar combined for 39 points (Hunter had 21 and Kev had 18) and 13 rebounds (seven and six). This was the game that felt like Dickinson could score at will if given the opportunity, but Kansas moved the ball so well that it wasn’t necessary. McCullar did most of his damage from two point land and the line (15 of his 18) as the duo combined for one of six from long range, a stat that needs to improve against better opponents. But, McCullar’s eight assists were a team high as Kansas was firing on all cylinders throughout the game.
Dajuan Harris’s hands were everywhere tonight, accounting for three steals but many more tips and near steals. Fully in control throughout the game, Harris finished with 11 points, three assists, and only one turnover.
3.5 Stars: Sufjan Stevens
From a Lithuanian and Greek background, Sufjan Stevens not only makes some of the best music out there today, but he also has one of the coolest names.
No one slots into this spot.
3 Stars: Beck
Originally born as Bek, Beck Hansen changed the spelling to a more traditional aesthetic and hence is the three star.
This is where the entirety of the bench comes in (minus one player) even though no one played poorly.
Elmarko Jackson came off the bench for Kansas again, and again, looked remarkably comfortable doing so. His rocket of a swing pass from under the basket to a wide open Furphy for three sparked an early Kansas run, and he scored a nice put back later in the game. He seems suited to come off the bench for KU and the team has looked better in the two games he hasn’t started. Some players just feel more comfortable watching for a while and maybe Elmarko is one of those players. If this works, it's another Bill Self masterclass in player management.
Nick Timberlake added a spark on a highlight reel dunk and finished with those two points, adding two rebounds, and two steals to his stat line.
Parker Braun got ten minutes under his belt, scored two from the line and blocked two shots.
Michael Jankovich canned a late three in mop up minutes.
2 Stars: Sebastian Bierk
Skid Row’s Sebastian Bach was so close to actually having the name of the famous classical composer, but came up just short. Mr. Bierk is a two star.
1 Star: William Bruce Rose, Jr
I think Axl Rose sounds better as well.
No one was a two or one star in the blowout.
Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:
Jamari McDowell didn’t play enough to warrant a rating.
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