Kansas vs Yale: Player Ratings to the Theme of Mythical Creatures

Yale has a generic mascot, so we rate the players to more exciting creatures.

Author:
Derek Noll
Publish date:
Dec 23, 2023 1:49 PM EST

In this story:

I almost wrote an article called Player Ratings to the Places that Kansas Would Rather Be than Playing this Game but after a great second half of the second half, that idea was scraped in favor of this one. Plus, this theme offered unlimited choices for the star ratings, a problem I was encountering with my first idea. And it turned out to be a perfect theme.

It was reserved for the game where Kansas was playing a team that had a mythological creature as a mascot (Spartans and Trojans obviously don’t count). but alas, there are none on the schedule. In fact, besides the greatest mythical bird of all time, the mighty Jayhawk, there just aren’t too many choices for mythological creatures outside of the Drexel Dragons (Perhaps UAB? Saint Louis, maybe?) in the college basketball landscape. So because Yale has one of the most generic mascots of all time, we’ll spice it up a bit with some mythological monsters for today’s ratings.

But first, our ratings system (and feel free to skip ahead using the table of contents):

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

Memorial No Star: Named after former KU walk-on Chris Teahan and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.

5 Stars: Bigfoot

The best of the best, right here. People still go out and look for these guys even though their “habitat” is surrounded by humanity. Plus, there is that picture from the 70s where the Bigfoot stopped and looked at the camera? Glorious. Almost as good as that Simpsons episode where the Bigfoot looks at his wristwatch.

Kevin McCullar basically “rest of teamed” the Jayhawks. If you don’t know the vernacular, think of it when they put that graphic on the screen when one guy is doing it all and no one else is scoring. At the 5:39 mark of the second half, that graphic could’ve read Kevin McCullar 31, Rest of Team 31. He finished with a career high 34 on the night, adding in six rebounds and four assists. McCullar did it all when KU needed it the most, and I’m not sure the “Let Kevin do everything” strategy is going to be effective going forward, but it certainly worked out okay in this one.

4.5 Stars: Dragons

Dragons rule. Long in the folklore of Europeans, and still prominent in the traditions of the British isles. Bonus points for Wales’ amazing flag that features a dragon.

No one else was as good as a dragon.

4 Stars: Unicorns

Having come to represent a freakishly talented athlete, the word unicorn has entered the modern lexicon in a new and interesting way.

Nicolas Timberlake had his best game as a Jayhawk and it couldn’t have come at a better time. When no one else besides he and McCullar were scoring, he finally came up with the game that Bill Self brought him here for. I’ve been as hard as anyone on Timberlake this year, but if Kansas can get this sort of production from the Towson transfer, this team could go a long way. In addition to his 13 points (Three triples made!) he also grabbed three rebounds and two steals.

KJ Adams earns this star for his defense. He essentially took Yale big man Danny Wolf out of the game after the seven-foot sophomore was having his way with Hunter Dickinson. Adams essentially shut him down and injected some of his contagious enthusiasm into the second half of the game to get the Jayhawks rolling. Moving Adams onto Wolf was another Bill Self masterclass.

3.5 Stars: Minotaur/Centaur

Half man, half something else. And despite what Old Spice has to say, they’re almost always mad at someone or something.

Ten points and six assists lands Dajuan Harris right here. He wasn’t spectacular, but his two three pointers were huge and his behind the back pass to KJ Adams is certainly going on the career highlight reel.

3 Stars: Kraken

This one falls into the three star spot because there are actual giant squids, just not the size of the mythical kraken which is said to be big enough to sink ships. Props to the new Seattle NHL franchise for taking a chance and naming their team the Kraken.

It looked like Parker Braun was going to be the answer to Yale’s Wolf, but in the end, Braun only got five minutes of action. He sits in the three star spot through no fault of his own.

2 Stars: Zombies

Perhaps the TV viewing public is finally done with zombies? Probably not, but I’m not sure why. What else can they do with this these guys that hasn’t been done already?

Easily Hunter Dickinson’s worst game as a Jayhawk, and it lands him down here at the two. Whether it was a case of KU couldn’t get him the ball or Dickinson being on winter break already, things just didn’t click in this one. To his credit, Hunter got onto the floor and fought for loose balls a few times, and of course, he finished with double digit rebounds with 10.

Elmarko Jackson wasn’t good in this one. The freshman guard tried to push the pace at times and most of those efforts resulted in turnovers. The choices he made were questionable and his 17 minutes of action were the lowest of the starters.