Player Ratings to the Theme of Doughnuts
The game in Waco was completely unsatisfactory. I was pumped for Kansas to take it to the Bears (for longer than the first ten minutes!) and it just didn't come off. But you know what are satisfying? Doughnuts. They are delicious and I love them, so let’s rate the players to the various different types of doughnuts you can have. Hey, it’s better than thinking about the last 30 minutes of game time in that one.
5 Stars:
Creme/Jelly Filled
This is the most doughnut that you can get for the buck. These can be super dense, but the reward is inside. Bonus points for not knowing what you’re getting but being pleasantly surprised.
No one was a five star.
4.5 Stars:
Cinnamon Rolls/Bear Claws
Are these doughnuts? Who cares! They are delicious and like the five star, they are huge and you get more food for your money. Plus, cinnamon is delicious and not seen in too many of the other options.
As much as I’d like to insert certain Kansas City natives here, I can’t.
4 Stars:
Long Johns
I really like maple frosted long johns, but go ahead and bring me a vanilla or chocolate frosted long john and we can be friends.
This is where Ochai Agbaji lands. Usually scoring 27 points will get you a higher rating, but some very questionable shot choices in the first half knock the senior down a half star.
Christian Braun was also very good in spurts and finished with a double-double (17 points and 10 rebounds) but the shot selection was too sporadic to be rated higher.
3.5 Stars:
Simply Frosted
The simple frosted doughnut has so many options. Just the frosting? Delicious. Sprinkles? Sure. Drizzles of a complimentary flavor? Cool. Cake donut? Yep. I’m partial to strawberry frosted, but this traditional doughnut is tough to beat.
Kansas looked way better with David McCormack on the court, full stop. But still, despite his double-double (10 and 13), Dave missed too many shots that a guy his size and with his interior position should make.
3 Stars:
Glazed
Boring but really tasty.
Man, I wish Dajuan Harris could shoot. He does everything else quite well, but shooting black hole would be an apt way to describe him in this one.
Remy Martin was the best off the bench for KU, and hopefully he’ll be able to shake off the rust in time for the tournament. Hats off to Remy for that sweet, sweet flop. Almost got them to buy it.
Maybe KJ Adams should’ve played more in this one? Was productive when he got the chance and probably could’ve kept up with Baylor’s versatile bigger athletes.
2 Stars:
Spare Tire
Whenever you have a flat tire and have to put the doughnut on, it just plain sucks. Thank goodness most cars use a full sized spare now.
This was Jalen Wilson’s worst game in about a month and a half. Hopefully, we won’t see this version again this year.
1 Star:
Scoring no points
Yeah, a doughnut in the box score is usually not good.
And here we are. This was not Mitch Lightfoot’s day. The zero points and four fouls in four minutes will land you in the worst spot on this list.
Garrett Luinstra Memorial No Star:
Joseph Yesufu, Zach Clemence, and Jalen Coleman-Lands don’t get a rating in this one.
