Player Ratings to the Theme of Famous Howards

Kansas easily beats Howard to advance to the second round of the NCAA Tournament

Kansas got their NCAA tournament up and running with a win over 16 seed Howard University, and that got me thinking. How many people are named Howard anymore? While HBCU Howard university was named after Oliver Otis Howard, that name probably doesn’t resonate with non-Howard students and graduates. So, we’re going to rate the player’s performances on famous people, real or fictional, named Howard. But first, the scientific method that we go about rating these guys:

Contents

1. 5 Stars: Ron Howard
2. 4.5 Stars: Howard Stern
3. 4 Stars: Howard Cosell
4. 3.5 Stars: Howard Hesseman
5. 3 Stars: Howard the Duck
6. 2 Stars: Howie Mandel/Howie Long
7. 1 Star: Howard Webb
8. Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

Memorial No Star: Named after former KU Chris Teahan and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.

5 Stars: Ron Howard

Best known in his early life as Opie from The Andy Griffith Show and Richie Cunningham from Happy Days, Ron Howard has gone on to be one of the biggest directors in Hollywood with such films as Cinderella Man, The Da Vinci Code, and A Beautiful Mind. But if we’re being honest, Howard’s best role is as the narrator of Arrested Development.

Gradey Dick's NCAA Tournament debut was a thing of beauty offensively speaking.  The Wichita freshman scored 19, grabbed 11 rebounds, and contributed five assists. His five offensive rebounds were almost as impressive as his three of five shooting from deep.  More please.

4.5 Stars: Howard Stern

Howard Stern might possibly be the most famous radio personality of all time. I mean, how many other DJs get movies made about their life? Stern definitely changed the game of what a radio show was by pushing boundaries and not worrying about the repercussions.

Jalen Wilson had a very strong start to this game and finished with a game high 20.  The Big XII Player of the Year was six of nine from two but only made two threes in seven attempts.

Welcome back, Kevin McCullar. Ten points, seven rebounds, and five assists is exactly the comeback game that Kansas fans wanted to see from McCullar.  Was it perfect? No. But with game that was as sped up as that one, perfection wasn't achievable for anyone.

4 Stars: Howard Cosell

Legendary broadcaster Cosell slots into the number four spot. Best known for boxing and football broadcasts, Cosell’s bombastic personality meant that every sports fan in America knew who he was and if it was a big event, Cosell was there.

KJ Adams and Ernest Udeh combined for a really nice game.  KJ had 13 points and Ernest contributed 8 (mostly on vicious dunks).  These guys were tailor made to play in a game like this.  We even saw the rare Udeh and Adams combo on the court at the same time for a few minutes.

This had to be one of Joseph Yesufu's more solid games for KU.  The fast pace of the game made his typical on the verge of out of control playing style look pretty normal, and he made baskets when asked. Finished the game with eight points and two assists.

3.5 Stars: Howard Hesseman

I’m going to go ahead and admit that one of my favorite all time TV shows from the 1980s was Head of the Class starring Hesseman. That’s why he’s here. But most remember him from other roles such as DJ Dr. Johnny Fever on WKRP in Cincinnati or from his stint on One Day at a Time.

Dajuan Harris threw it away on too many occasions to warrant a higher rating, but overall, he was dynamic and KU was much better when Juan was running the show (as usual).  He scored 11 and added seven assists but also had four turnovers.

3 Stars: Howard the Duck

This 1986 movie is a cult classic and you either love it or hate it (I remember hating it but haven’t seen it in over 30 years). After “researching” for this article, I found out that Howard the Duck was originally a Marvel comic so we’ll probably be seeing this dude in the future.

Bobby Pettiford always leaves me wanting more.  In most cases, it seems like he's trying too hard out there.  He's no Dajuan Harris, but in the minutes he plays, he has to be a lot closer to Juan if KU is going to repeat.  He finished with two points, two rebounds, two steals, one assist, and two turnovers.

In limited minutes, Zuby Ejiofor had a nice put back dunk and Zach Clemence nailed a three.

2 Stars: Howie Mandel/Howie Long

Both entertainer Mandel and ex-football player turned broadcaster Long get pegged down by going by Howie instead of Howard.

Nobody was a two star performer.

1 Star: Howard Webb

Listen, no one likes a referee, so while Webb did a decent job as a lead official in England’s Premier League and continental UEFA competitions, he’s still a one star.

Obviously, there were no one stars in this blowout.

Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:

Michael Jankovich was the only KU player to not score.  He only played in the last minute and a half.

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