Kansas Jayhawks Player Ratings to the Theme of Racquet Sports
The Australian Open is off and running so we’re on the hook for several months of Grand Slam tennis action. Sounds good to me as I love tennis. Racquet sport side note: do you know what’s all the rage right now? Pickleball. Because of these two things, we’re rating the players’ performances based on racquet sports, and if you’re a traditionalist like me, you’ll like these. If you’re a pickleball enthusiast, look away. Here’s the extremely "scientific" criteria we use to evaluate the players:
5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.
4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.
4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.
3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.
2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.
1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.
Memorial No Star: Named after a former KU walk-on or obscure player and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.
5 Stars: Tennis
The undisputed king of the racquet sports. There was never a doubt. I have quite an affinity for watching the big tennis tournaments on TV, and when the match is good, it’s some of the finest sports TV you can watch.
No one was as good as a top level tennis match.
4.5 Stars: Racquetball
I took racquetball at KU for my PE elective and came in 3rd in the end of semester tournament. There needs to be more access to racquetball courts. Public courts need to be a thing. We have tennis courts all over the place, why not racquetball? Reserve a court for $5/hour? Sold.
No one was was this good either.
4 Stars: Table Tennis/Ping Pong
One of the best basement games to play while drinking and I'm not even talking about beer pong, I'm talking the real thing. The downside: that dude that owns the ping pong table will own you when you play him. That is an undisputed fact.
Jalen Wilson and Gradey Dick were all Kansas had in this one. They combined for 47 of KU’s 69 points and made all five of the Jayhawks’ three pointers. The rest of the team was zero for seven. This team isn’t deep is what I’m saying.
3 Stars: Badminton
The perfect game to set up at a picnic or the 4th of July. It’s really portable and easy to set up. The downside is that the birdies sometimes get mangled and don’t float right.
Dajuan Harris is clearly banged up. His head isn’t right. Four assists and four uncharacteristic turnovers tell you that hes not at full speed. He might not have had a concussion, but the repercussions from landing on his head in Manhattan are still manifesting themselves. I’m glad he has five days to get right.
Kevin McCullar can stop taking corner threes any time now. A double-double of 14 and 12 is usually enough for a four star, but the momentum dies each time this guy chucks one up from three right now. The lowlight was two in a row that would’ve gotten KU to within nine and with each team haplessly chucking the ball into the crowd and each others’ hands for a good sequence after that, who knows where that momentum would’ve taken KU. I know I’m over analyzing this, but when was the last time Kevin made a three pointer from the corner? Seems like at least five games.
Kansas isn’t getting much from the bench as Joseph Yesufu, Bobby Pettiford, Ernest Edeh and MJ Rice combined for two points and six rebounds.
2 Stars: Pickleball
It’s not that I dislike pickleball, it’s that it gets in the way of my tennis. All these people that are too lazy to run around and play tennis (yes, I’m probably wrongly characterizing giant swathes of people) are now stealing tennis courts around the country, painting their tiny little “I don’t have to run, but I’m still playing a sport!” lines on a tennis court and then playing for hours (you can because you never have to run) while the rest of us who are looking to get a workout have to sit there and listen to that annoying noise their ball and paddle makes. No, I’m not bitter, not at all.
This was KJ Adams’s worst game in a long time. Couldn’t make the easy ones in this contest and wasn’t even used in the late stages of the game when KU tried to come back. Finished with four points. I’m sorry I had to compare you to pickleball, KJ.
1 Star: Squash
I’m assuming that since Frasier and Niles Crane are the only people I’ve ever heard of that play it, squash is a rich man’s game and therefore at the bottom of this list.
No one was a one star.
