Dear West Virginia Bring Your Appetite and Leave Our Couches Alone

Dear West Virginia,

Our Couches Have a No-Smoking Policy

Welcome to Fort Worth, where we don’t burn couches or cover our parking lots in two layers of beer cans.

Not because we don’t drink. We aren’t the Baptists down I-35.

We just prefer our drink of choice in a more sophisticated container. A TCU-themed YETI or Stanley. A specially printed game-day Styrofoam cup. Or a beer bottle, because we do have standards.

And if you can’t find the cooler, ask the bartender.

Yes, we know what you think of us. Country club. Spoiled. TCU tea sippers.

Fair enough. Although it’s probably Prosecco.

You burn couches. We have ours professionally upholstered.

We both have traditions.

Come for the Middle Finger, Stay for the Dip

And about those beer cans, I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it. Two layers deep is less an accusation and more an observation.

Honestly, I was impressed. And I look forward to visiting again.

Mountaineer fans don’t necessarily look inviting at first glance. Sometimes the welcome starts with a middle finger.

Then they wave you over and give you all the beer, chips and dip you could ever want.

It’s a confusing hospitality model, but once you understand the sequence, it’s lovely.

In Fort Worth, we greet you with a smile and silently judge your shoes. In Morgantown, you flip us off and feed us.

There’s something to be said for knowing exactly where you stand.

A Good Homecoming Guest Brings a Loss

We’ve had plenty of time to get acquainted. We both joined the Big 12 in 2012 and played every year through 2023. We took a little break in 2024, then reunited last season.

Scott Nix interviews three West Virginia fans wearing denim overalls and holding beer cans at a 2015 tailgate in Fort Worth. — KillerFrogs’ Scott Nix interviews three West Virginia fans sporting overalls before the Mountaineers’ 2015 game at TCU in Fort Worth. | Credit: KillerFrogs.com | KillerFrogs.com

You lead our Big 12 series, 7–6. We’d like to consider Saturday an opportunity to balance the books.

And thank you for hosting us for your homecoming last year. We enjoyed the hospitality.

And the 23–17 win in Morgantown.

This year, you’re coming to ours.

Please remember that a good guest brings a gift. Another TCU win would be lovely.

There’s plenty riding on this week’s TCU–West Virginia matchup, but I’m trying to keep my requests reasonable.

One win. All your couches intact.

Mom Took One for the Team. In the Garage.

But while we’re revisiting old memories, we need to clear something up about 2014.

You probably think Jaden Oberkrom beat you with that 37-yard field goal as time expired in Morgantown.

And yes, technically, he kicked it.

But my mother and I helped.

It was November 1, and the Frogs were playing in cold, windy Morgantown. I was watching at home with my parents and friends when Mom went into the garage for something.

About that time, we started driving down the field.

Then I heard her coming back inside.

“Nooooooooooo!”

I wouldn’t let her back in.

My own mother. Banished to the garage. Because when the Frogs finally start moving the ball, nobody changes a thing.

Oberkrom made the kick. TCU won, 31–30.

You’re welcome, Frog fans.

Winning in Morgantown has rarely been a relaxing experience. Some of us have contributed more than others.

Mom is in Heaven now, and that memory still makes me laugh. I can still hear myself yelling and refusing to let my own mother back into the house.

Thank you for your service, Mom.

I hope Heaven has a better view of the game than the garage did.

Hollywood Never Called. We Checked.

Our history also includes some vintage KillerFrogs cinema, courtesy of Scott Nix and Wes Phelan.

Were these videos good? Absolutely not.

Are they hilarious? Absolutely.

What they lacked in production value, they made up for in commitment. And apparently, nobody was willing to tell them no.

Scott and Wes are both in Heaven now, and we miss them. But they left us these wonderfully ridiculous videos, which means they can still make us laugh.

So consider the Scott and Wes Film Collection required viewing before your trip to Fort Worth:

Two guys who loved their Frogs, loved this community, and clearly weren’t worried about an Academy Award.

KillerFrogs’ Scott Nix and Wes Phelan interview a West Virginia fan during TCU tailgating in 2013 — KillerFrogs’ Scott Nix and Wes Phelan interview a West Virginia fan in at a TCU tailgate in 2013 | Credit: KillerFrogs.com | KillerFrogs.com

This one’s for you, boys.

Enjoy the Brisket. Spare the Furniture.

Now, West Virginia, we hope you enjoy Fort Worth. We’re pretty proud of it.

Walk through campus. You’ll have a hard time finding a more manicured one. Even our landscaping looks like it has a trust fund.

Visit the Stockyards. They’re one of a kind. Stroll through Sundance Square. And make sure you eat some Tex-Mex and barbecue while you’re here.

We’ll give you a hard time on Saturday, but we want you to love our town. After all, you’ve shown me that a middle finger and a generous helping of chips and dip can come from the same person.

We can return the hospitality.

Just please leave the couches where you found them.

Love and Go Frogs,

KillerFrogs.com

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