Mem’ries Sweet: TCU Basketball vs. West Virginia is a Journey Down Memory Lane

Tonight the West Virginia Mountaineers come to town for one of the last remaining home basketball games of the season. I will be there cheering on the Frogs. But it won’t be without a heavy heart.

The woman I called my “Other Mother” won’t be sitting beside me tonight. This will be the third season without her sitting there. With time, the grief doesn’t get any easier.

Kay Reuter was her name. Some of you may recognize that name. Dr. Frank Reuter was a history professor at TCU. Kay was his wife for 63 years. I first met the Reuters in 1985 during my sophomore year at TCU. Their youngest daughter, Kathy, and I were friends at school. Kathy had told me about the infamous happy hours at her parents’ house. So, one Friday afternoon, we drove the few miles from campus to their house for what would become the first of many martinis I shared with them over the years to come.

Kay and Frank immediately adopted me into their family. Even after graduation, I would still spend time with them. Kathy is still one of my nearest and dearest friends. Her family is my family. Her kids, now both wonderful young adults, have a special place in my heart. Kathy’s older siblings, over the years, also became part of my family, and all at one point have referred to me as a brother. So, with this bond, Kay was definitely my “Other Mother.”

Christmas of 1987 brought a big snowstorm to Oklahoma City, where my family was gathered to celebrate. I had just graduated and gotten a job in Fort Worth. I couldn’t get stuck in the storm. My mom sent me on my way, before the family celebrations. I got to my lonely apartment a block from campus thinking I’d spend the day alone. I called Kathy just to wish her a Merry Christmas. In doing so, I told her where I was. A few minutes later, Kay called. “No way are you spending Christmas alone. Get over here. You are part of this family.”

Frank passed away in 2014. Their family by then was spread across the country from Fort Worth to Denver to St. Louis to Raleigh. Their oldest son and Kathy’s daughter were the only family in Fort Worth. So, my wife and I made sure we were part of the team looking in on Kay and making sure life was going as well as could be for her.

Frank and Kay were big TCU sports fans. They would go to football games, basketball games, and other events. I remember watching the 2010 College World Series with them. They were excited when they learned I was going to the 2011 Rose Bowl. We shared a love for the Frogs in all sports. When Frank took ill, they stopped going to games.

A couple of seasons later, Jamie Dixon was hired. Kay and I were talking one day about how exciting this was for the Frogs. She wondered how they would play. And as I talked to her, I had an idea. So, I asked “would you like me to take you to some games this season?” Her face lit up with joy, and she smiled a big smile, and said “YESSSS!”

Kay loved basketball. Four of her kids played ball growing up, three of them in high school. She knew her stuff. Her son Steve has told me stories that she’d come out to their driveway to guard him as he practiced. Other days, she’d spy upon the kids from the front window to make sure they were getting their practice shots.

So, our tradition was born. Each November, she’d pull out the calendar, and we’d pick 5-6 games a season she wanted to attend. And she’d always say “You know the first one I’m going to pick.” It was West Virginia. Always West Virginia.

You see, Frank’s first teaching job was at West Liberty State College in Wheeling, West Virginia. Their young family spent a few years in the state. Two of their five children were born there. West Virginia was a family bond, and Kay being at that game was always important.

So off we went. And let me tell you. She knew her stuff. She’d yell at the teams. Yell at the refs. She’d look at me and ask how that was not double dribbling. Now, she was in her late 80s at the time. And boy, did she have spunk. She was into the games. To the last basket. She never wanted to leave early (not that I would either). But even late games, she didn’t care when she got home. She was having fun watching the sport she loved. And I was having fun spending time with my “Other Mother.”

The last game we attended was in March 2019. It was the NIT rounds where we won to go to New York for the second time in three years. We got our t-shirts for that game. She loved watching them win. And the post-game celebrations. She stood up and danced, with her walker, as they played “New York, New York.” She was so happy when I told her I would go to Madison Square Garden and cheer loud for her.

Kay took ill in November of that year and passed away a short time after that. I didn’t know that the last game would be the last time we got to enjoy a game together. I miss my basketball companion. I miss my Other Mother. So, tonight, when I’m at the Schollmaier, I will shed a tear as I think of her. Because it’s always West Virginia. And always Kay. RIP Kathleen Reuter.

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