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Loser Saban Believed to Be Creature of Myth

While one has never been sighted in Arkansas, Sam Pittman hopeful he can document its existence this weekend
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FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. – Most people don't believe it's a real thing, but there is scientific evidence that a Loser Saban exists deep in the woods of the Southeast United States.

Plenty of people know about the more dominant species, the Nick Saban, which can be found from as far south as Florida, as far west as Texas, and as far north as Kentucky and northern parts of Missouri. There have even been reports that Nick Sabans might soon move into parts of Oklahoma.

However, Loser Sabans are thought to be mere myth in much of the country. A flurry of sightings were made in 2007 when six of the 25 took place, including one every weekend in the month of November.  

Then Loser Sabans went virtually dormant and people stopped believing they exist. 

Head into any gas station or bait shop in Arkansas and start talking about one and you'll get a bit of side eye at best. 

Killer monkeys in the woods of Bradley County and deer-eating piranhas in the Saline River are still considered a possibility, but there's no way, especially in the mountains of Northwest Arkansas, that any respectable Arkansan can be convinced to believe such nonsense exists. 

However, there are legitimate credible sightings, most of which were documented by renowned mythical creature hunter Gus Malzahn, who has since given up on hunting the elusive Loser Saban to track down pythons in Central Florida. He reportedly will take on an even more difficult task next year than spotting a Loser Saban – finding a defense in the barren plains and hills of Big 12 country.

Arkansas spotter Sam Pittman, who became nationally known after discovering SEC wins in an area of the Ozarks where they were thought to have long been extinct, has seen glimpses of a Loser Saban in his never ending quest. He was certain he saw one in October of 2014 while on an expedition with Bret Bielema, but was unable to capture official documentation.

He also thought he might have seen one while on patrol with Kirby Smart around the Atlanta area in January of 2018. Again, neither were able to provide proof a Loser Saban was actually present.

Experts in the study of Loser Sabans from around the country have taken to the media to express doubt the creature will ever been found in Arkansas. Should Pittman be able to document a sighting this weekend, such a discovery would most likely break the internet. 

Below is a list of every verifiable report of a Loser Saban.