Alabama Fans Struggling with What Hog Fans Know So Well

Complaining about 11 a.m. start vs. Texas not only bad look, show definite lack of understanding

Author:
Kent Smith
Publish date:
Aug 24, 2022 6:26 AM EDT

Usually when there's the distinct sound of whine in the air, it's coming from the SEC's elder statesman Nick Saban yelling at people to get off his proverbial college football lawn.

However, as easy of a target as Saban tends to make himself these days, he's not the source of this irritable sound. This particular annoyance happens to come from his neighbors, the Alabama fan base.

They're easy to recognize on sight, their Southern American skin dark and leathery from years of baking in college football's national spotlight. They're the metaphorical families that drive a car more expensive than your house whose social media makes it look like they've never worked a day in their life because it's filled weekly with exotic looking family vacations.

It's always sunny and perfect weather in Crimson Tide Estates because were it to ever rain they would drown from refusing to lower their noses from the air to look down and see the rest of the common folk living in SECville.

Now it's not their fault. Their lack of self awareness doesn't stem from the people of Alabama not being good people.

Having been to Tuscaloosa, it's easy to vouch for the locals overall being quite friendly. They've just been living the high life so long, they just don't know any better.

Jameson Williams-Alabama — Eventual first round draft pick Jameson Williams gets tripped up during a tight win over Arkansas this past season. The two teams clashed in the 2:30 p.m. CT slot to which Crimson Tide fans have been accustomed as it's considered the primetime SEC position.
Butch Dill/USA TODAY Images

That's why when the television schedule came out for the Texas game came out, the people of Alabama lost their minds.

It was an insult. What a horrible slight.

11 a.m.? How disgusting!

What tasteful Power 5 program would ever do such a wretched thing as play a game before 2:30 p.m.?

Well, for starters, most of the SEC, especially Arkansas over the years.

Please understand 'Bama fans. For once in the college football world, this ain't about you.

This is all about Texas and Texas alone.

You see, for the first time in forever, Alabama won't be playing a high profile game against a big-time team in the month of September.

Utah State is a pretty solid opener. They finished No. 24 last season, but it's not the glamour games against top tier opponents where you get to knock someone out of the national title hunt on Week 1.

The other three teams on your non-conference slate – Louisiana-Monroe, Texas, and Austin Peay – combined to average one Power 5 win each last year.

Sure, the Texas logo looks nice, but it's a program that's been on the rocks for a long time now as a result of mass dysfunction in Austin. The Longhorns regularly brings in top recruiting classes, only to produce very few, if any, NFL football players each year.

It's a program that rode a reputation of winning big when African Americans weren't allowed on the field and one shining moment with Vince Young in the Rose Bowl into a national perception of a blue blood.

However, when Texas gets cut, it's not blue that pours out, but instead a weak, pale red.

Take that jersey cloaked in misconception off and you're left with a team that curb-stomped in Fayetteville so bad it quit in the fourth quarter and then went on to another losing regular season down in Austin.

To it in perspective, Akron, New Mexico State, UMass, UConn, and Texas combined for three wins over Power 5 teams last year.

That's the company the Longhorns are keeping. The type of teams that regularly struggle with Kansas and sometimes find themselves one of few victims the Jayhawks can manage to claim.

So, please understand it's not you, Alabama, that is keeping this game from being a primetime ABC night game like you're used to experiencing. The Longhorns have done nothing to warrant such a spotlight.

Their lack of ranking in the AP poll bears out that even the people who want Texas to matter so desperately when it comes to preseason rankings have recognized how much damage the Longhorn boosters have done to the program this past decade or so.

The only place Texas can be found in the rankings is in the Coaches' Poll where the Longhorns are ranked solely on the merit of a single first place vote. Sports talk radio hosts around the country have made it clear they suspect that vote came from Saban to try to salvage the appearance of a paltry non-conference schedule should the Tide lose to A&M, Arkansas or Auburn and need to make a case for the playoffs.

The other reason this game is at 11 a.m. is Fox. The Network realized long ago that the biggest games of the Big 12 can't draw in typical college high profile slots because they get swallowed up in ratings by the SEC, Big 10 and Notre Dame.

With both conferences sentencing their lesser games to television slots that occur in the morning in most of the country, Fox saw an opportunity to put its high profile games up against the likes of Texas A&M vs. Sam Houston and Penn St. vs. Ohio in hopes of drawing better numbers.

So, while SEC fans see an 11 a.m. as the ultimate slap in the face, it's a place of high honor to get up at 6 a.m. to drive to a stadium for a 9 a.m. tailgate in the Big 12.

You see Tide fans, this is a sign of respect. Without Alabama, Texas might find itself banished from mainstream television to the Longhorn Network in Week 2.

Plus, while Alabama fans complain how hot it will be down in Austin, they fail to understand what a blessing an 11 a.m. game is.

Texas tends to run anywhere from lower 80s to upper 90s during a typical morning start all the way through early October. However, that 2:30 p.m. slot Tide fans covet so much so they can sleep in and also go have a good time at night comes at the cost of high 90s to near 110 during that same time.

That wouldn't be the national spotlight baking your skin once more, it would be the overbearing Texas sun driving heat inside the stadium to around 130 degrees as it cooks your players on the turf.

And that's more than even the most dedicated Tide fan can handle, so count your blessings and learn to enjoy watching your favorite team with a nice bowl of cereal on your belly like the rest of the SEC fan bases.

Don't worry. If all goes well, Alabama will get to slide back into that spot just in time to face Arkansas to kick off the October slate.

If not, that will be the Razorbacks' fault and not yours. After all, have you seen their schedule?

Not the September cupcake line-up the Tide gets to snack on.