Kansas vs Gonzaga: Player Ratings to the Theme of Sports Brothers

Well, I have been saving this theme all season long, waiting for Parker Braun to have a break-out game. That never happened, so here we are, in the final game of a disappointing season where Parker got novelty minutes and made the most of them. When Parker Braun signed at Kansas to play out his sixth year of eligibility as a Jayhawk, there were immediate hopes that he’d be the heir apparent to his successful NBA and NCAA champion brother Christian. Alas, that wasn’t fair to either brother. 

So with Parker and Christian in mind, we’re going to rate the players to famous sports brothers as we finish with this year’s ratings and feel free to skip the criteria using the table of contents if you’re already familiar.

 

5 Stars: Out of this world performance. This is a hard to achieve rating and is only reserved for the most impressive or impressionable performances.

4.5 Stars: Very strong performance, packed the stat sheet, provided undeniable intangibles.

4 Stars: A strong performance that falls just short of the standards above.

3.5 Stars: Above average performance, perhaps stands out in one category or one aspect of the game.

3 Stars: Average performance. Also could be a very strong game in one aspect but a very poor game in another such as 15 points but seven turnovers. Could also be that the player played, did their job, but didn't do much spectacularly.

2 Stars: Below average performance, or we simply have higher expectations for the player on this particular night.

1 Star: Rare, but if a player has a stinker in all aspects.

Memorial No Star: Named after former KU walk-on Chris Teahan and is awarded to the player(s) who didn't have enough playing time to contribute or whose performance isn't worthy of a rating for another reason.

5 Stars: Peyton and Eli Manning

Eli is a two time Super Bowl champion, two time Super Bowl MVP, and somehow he is rightfully considered vastly inferior to his brother from a football standpoint. Of course, when your brother is a five time NFL MVP and one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever live, it makes sense. Also, these dudes have made quite the living for themselves post football.

No one was a five star.

4.5 Stars: The Morris Twins

This is a Kansas website after all.  Marcus and Markieff Morris are Kansas legends and each have made nice careers in the NBA. Sure, this rating is higher than it should be, but we never professed to be unbiased when it comes to Jayhawks around here.

No one was a 4.5 today

4 Stars: Travis and Jason Kelce

Either you love the current Travis Kelce/Taylor Swift hype or you are sick and tired of it. Either way, Travis and his brother Jason are two of the most recognizable figures in American sports and their fame has transcended sport into popular culture.

Parker Braun. Yes, I’m being a homer with this rating but I don’t care. Parker nailed a three, had a block and grabbed two rebounds in his final game as a Jayhawk. To be honest, his legs were fresh and should’ve been used more.

3.5 Stars: Phil and Tony Esposito

These hockey greats are both Hall of Famers, Phil as a forward and Tony as a goaltender. That’s quite remarkable and they rank high on this list for being the only siblings on this list to accomplish that.

If the second half hadn’t happened, you’d see more players here or above, but it did.

3 Stars: Marc and Pau Gasol

Of the Barcelona brothers, Pau is the more accomplished, and as a member of the 2023 National Basketball Hall of Fame class, it’s understandable that he’s the one you think of when you hear the name Gasol. But Marc was no slouch either, making the NBA All-Star game on three occasions during his time in the league.

On one hand, the first half was pretty well played, especially offensively. On the other hand, the second half existed. So for these ratings, it’s really hard to put the players in the right spot. We all remember the second half over the first, the atrocities fresh in our minds. But Kansas was getting what they wanted and knocking down open shots in the first half. Once their legs went, and they went fast, this game was finished.

Dajuan Harris was two for two from deep before the break, had six of his 11 assists and all ten of his points before the interval. The game plan well apart once Gonzaga started making everything, but it’s Dajuan’s job to get his team back in the right frame of mind. Sadly, that never happened.

Thirteen of Hunter Dickinson’s 15 points came in the first half, including both of his made threes. Of all the players to get tired, Dickinson was the most predictable seeing as he’s carrying more size than anyone else.

KJ Adams struggled defensively in this one, and Gonzaga took full advantage with their screens and vision. There’s a lot of internet talk about Adams right now. Dude has been through enough this season and his passion is always on display. Calm down, folks.

Johnny Furphy went scoreless after the break, weariness from the Samford game clearly apparent as all four of his attempts from deep were short. The freshman did bust his hump all game, grabbing a game high six offensive rebounds.

Nick Timberlake was coming off his best game of the season and couldn’t match it against the Zags. He made that early three in the second half and it looked like KU was onto something, but alas, it wasn’t to be. He finished with nine points and six rebounds which, if we’re being honest, is what Kansas fans would’ve loved to see all year in a completely healthy squad.

Jamari McDowell was fine and I would’ve liked to see the man with the freshest legs out there a bit more.

Bonus category! 2.5 Stars: Oh Brother

How many times did you utter this phrase or a NSFW version of it during the second half?

All of Elmarko Jackson’s points came in the second half and this rating could be a little harsh, seeing as he played limited minutes in the first half when it mattered. But 2.5 seems about right.

2 Stars: The Balls

LaMelo, LiAngelo, and Lonzo are pretty annoying as far as famous sporting brothers go. Of course, a lot of this can be blamed on their father LaVar, but we here at player ratings headquarters aren’t giving them a break for that.

Everyone that was a in the above two categories could’ve been a two but I took into consideration the fact that they all basically played 40 minutes just 38 hours previously. 

1 Star: Jose and Ozzie Canseco

While Jose is the famous one, having a good baseball career (he was the first to ever hit 40 home runs and have 40 stolen bases in the same year), he is now more well known for steroid use. And his brother Ozzie?  He never really made it in MLB, but he once tried to impersonate his brother at a baseball card signing. Hilarious.

No one was a one-star.

The Connor and Chris Teahan Memorial No Star:

See what I did here?

Dillon Wilhite, Michael Jankovich, and Wilder Evers.