Vivienne and Gary Player: A Playful Love Story to Last a Lifetime
Golf’s Big Three should be referred to as the Big Six: Gary and Vivienne Player, Jack and Barbara Nicklaus, Arnold and Winnie Palmer. The wives of the three legends were instrumental to success on and off the golf course. They deserve credit for all the triumphs that will live forever in history.
The First Lady of South African golf, Vivienne Player, passed away Aug. 18 after a long battle against pancreatic cancer with her family by the bedside while her husband’s arms embraced his sweetheart. She was married to South Africa’s greatest sportsman but was quite the athlete herself, including specializing in the backstroke at swimming competitions during her youth.
Daughter of Jock Verwey, a golf professional at Virginia Park Golf Club in Johannesburg, she sported a fluid swing and made two hole-in-ones. Not just in her career, in one round. As the story goes, she nearly had three hole-in-ones that day but a flag stick prevented the ball from dropping in the hole. She likely had the talent to pursue professional golf dreams of her own but family came first.
Known by many names — Mom, Gran, Viv, Mrs. Player — she could break down a golf swing like a professional instructor, and was the only person the Black Knight would really listen to about swing advice. Well, besides Ben Hogan. But cracking the Hawk's code was a challenge on its own.
The two South Africans fell for each other as teenagers when the future grand slam champion spotted his destiny while peering over a fence — she was doing what else but hitting golf balls. Was it this love at first sight that persuaded the gold miner’s son to stray away from the rugby and cricket fields to concentrate on golf?
They wanted to have a big family and got it. The matriarch of the Player clan is survived by her husband, six children, 22 grandchildren, (currently) two great-grandchildren, countless members of extended family, and millions around the world who lives she touched. From many different backgrounds, the extended Player family forms a United Nations.
Mr. Player asked for her hand in marriage when he was just 14, but suggested waiting until he had enough money to support a family. That day came in 1956 after his victory in Australia at the Ampol Tournament. The wining prize was $5,000 and he sent her a telegram that simply read, “Buy the dress!” The Players tied the knot in 1957 and had their first child, Jennifer, in 1959.
Their lives changed forever when he won his first major championship at The Open the same year. Mrs. Player was there, away from their new born baby girl. A black and white video from the R&A shows her arms wrapped around her distraught husband walking off the 18th green. He double-bogeyed the last hole, nearly losing the tournament. But he prevailed and would meet their three-month old daughter for the first time days later as Champion Golfer of the Year. More than 160 tournament wins would follow but the life of a Tour wife was not always glamorous, especially in that era. It took patience, dedication, belief in her husband, and an indescribable amount of love between the two. Many months were spent apart and telephone calls had to be scheduled well in advance.
Within six years, the Players had five children — Jennifer, Marc, Wayne, Michele and Theresa. The family temporarily stopped growing, but in 1973 their last child, Amanda-Leigh, was born. One of the most impressive things Mrs. Player accomplished as a mother was perfecting the art of international travel with young children. Golfers traveling in private jets and first class seats were still years away.
Mr. Player often tells stories about her hand washing (dirty) diapers on the plane en route from South Africa to the United States. That’s a lot of changing for just one infant during a 40-plus hour trip. And unfortunately, something you have to learn by experience. Add multiple mouths into the mix, and that’s a whole different animal.
Gary and Vivienne Player with Sebastian, one of their great grandchildren.
Later in life, her traveled air miles no doubt reached into the tens of millions. Fitting for the wife of the world’s most traveled athlete. Collectively, she spent years living in hotels and flying across country boarders supporting the goals of her husband all while caring for their family. A lifetime of true altruistic acts that took the heart of an angel.
The little things she cared for were just so noticeable, such as packing Mr. Player’s suitcase well into her 80s. Never misplacing a critical piece of clothing he was required to wear by sponsors, another task he did not have to think about when preparing for a tournament or travel.
She found comfort in good books, Christian faith, and was a proud member of the Church of the Latter Day Saints. It was common for her to spend hours reading literature while her husband practiced into the night. A hobby he was thankful she enjoyed. Her sharp and witty personality brought an exciting yet soothing presence into every room. Conversations were comforting.
Her thick skin easily brushed off his constant teasing, an undervalued trait for any marriage. But the clever wife had tricks of her own. When a newspaper article came out quoting the golfer saying, “I would leave my wife for this driver,” he entered his hotel the next day to find the trusty club wrapped in a negligee with an attached note. Moments later, she would burst out of the closet and laughter filled the room.
The charitable efforts of her life should be celebrated, too. She effectively helped to change the lives of countless underprivileged children around the world. Even getting her hands dirty while cleaning up trash in a rural South African town just a few years ago. Perhaps one of the most-traveled people of all time, her grace was felt around the world.
In a heartfelt, tear-jerking message, Mr. Player summed up their lives together best:
The unthinkable has happened. My wife of 64 years, my childhood sweetheart, my rock, and my soulmate Vivienne has lost her battle with pancreatic cancer. I cannot describe the deep sense of sadness I feel at having lost the one person who has always meant the world to me.
Vivienne has been a constant in my life from the moment I first set eyes on her when I was 14.
She fully supported my career and raised our six children almost single-handedly while I was touring the world playing golf. She was a devoted wife, a loving mother, grandmother, great grandmother, and a wonderful human being who cared so deeply for others and lived her life in service to others.
Vivienne taught me the value of love, faith and trust. She taught our children those same values, and they were blessed to have a mother who lived those values every single day.
When we first met, I had no doubt it was love at first sight and it turned out to be a love story of a lifetime. I believe it will also be so when we are finally together again.
Until then, I will miss my Viv dearly.