News, views and inappropriate thoughts on sports television
These are 23 (more) facts, tried and true, about the widening world of sports television:
1. This is a non-Olympic year. Cherish it.
2. Do you know how many times I have fallen asleep watching a Braves game on TBS and, when I awaken,
3. I called DirecTV and asked why I had Fox Soccer Channel. The guy apologized and took it off my package.
4. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Any time I hear NFL draftniks, it becomes Even More Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
5. The U.S. military prison at Guantanamo Bay is going to close. There goes another Versus home.
6. He might be the best golfer ever, but almost every time I look up on Sunday,
7. I understand Japanese TV is developing
8. With the success of ESPNU, ESPNMe can't be far behind.
9. The best thing about
10. There's an old expression, "Everyone talks about the weather, no one does anything about it." So how come The Weather Channel doesn't have a nightly
11. I hate three-man booths, but ABC's NBA team of
(Column Intermission: Sri Lankan native
12. A friend of mine refers to ESPN as "The Poker Channel," as in, "I heard you the other night say something really stupid on The Poker Channel ... "
13. If porn had play-by-play,
14. Odd historical nugget: When the Christians were fed to the lions in ancient Rome, local cable TV used sideline reporters.
15. I still cry every time I see the end of
16. If Russia were wired for cable in the 1870s, I'd bet you
17. If I were Animal Planet, I'd program
18. When I watch a live golf tournament on Golf Channel, why does it appear they are never showing any live golf?
20a. Incidentally, I believe
21. You can now watch a basketball game on your cell phone. I'm old school: I'd rather play Tetris on my cell phone.
22. What exactly was Melba thinking the first time she made Melba toast?
Q. In a word, can you describe
A. No. While he is wildly entertaining on TNT's NBA coverage -- when he's not on leave due to one of his myriad vices -- I don't understand why he opines on issues far and wide. Heck, on
Q. What do you think your profession might have been if you hadn't become a sportswriter?
A. I once worked part-time at a hospital chasing runaway mercury from broken thermometers.
Q. I would like to build a new house but cannot afford to do so in these tough economic times. If I promise to hold 81 neighborhood pickup baseball games, do you think I could get public funding?
A. Pay the man, Shirley.
Q. How much wood would
A. Pay this fella, too.