The Week 5 Power Rankings arrive on Wednesday. But first, the Sour Rankings take a spin through the worst of the past week in the NFL …
10. CBS bails on the Jets-Chargers game
It is not unusual for FOX or CBS to cut away from a blowout on Sunday to air the conclusion of a more competitive game. But it is almost unprecedented for one of the networks to just throw in the towel on an afternoon of football altogether. The Jets made it happen.
cbs straight up not showing the end of the jets game like they're staging an intervention in all of our lives— Lana Berry (@Lana) October 5, 2014
Score one for 60 Minutes fans.
9. Detroit's laser pointer defense
Allegedly, there was a prankster or two in the Ford Field crowd on Sunday. Several Bills players claimed after their 17-14 win that someone had been trying to distract them by shining a laser pointer into their eyes.
"Early on I felt it a couple of times right after I got the ball, so I communicated with the refs and with coach [Doug] Marrone and let him handle that," QB Kyle Orton told the team's website.
"When I noticed it they were shining it on Colton [Schmidt, the holder on kicks] on the 50-yard attempt," Dan Carpenter said.
8. Jay Feely wants a job
While we're on the subject of the Lions' kicking job ... Jay Feely would like it, please.
The former Arizona Cardinal reportedly will have his chance. According to the NFL Network's Ian Rapoport, both Feely and ex-Bronco Matt Prater will be in Detroit for a tryout on Tuesday. No word yet on Laser Pointer Guy's availability for the practice session.
7. Drew Brees' pick-six
Turns out even future Hall of Famers can throw an intramural-level interception from time to time. To wit:
The Saints are now on a two-week run in the Sour Rankings. Last Monday, they stormed to the top spot with arguably the worst fake punt ever.
6. Ebola jokes
When topical humor goes awry ...
First, we had Giants co-owner Steve Tisch, uh, "joking" when asked if his team would take any extra precautions when it played at Dallas: "I think the Cowboys are going to get it first. So it's to our advantage." (The first person diagnosed with Ebola inside the United States is being treated in the Dallas area.)
And then there was the Jaguars' mascot, Jaxson DeVille (yes, really), trying to take a shot at the Steelers fans who invaded Jacksonville on Sunday with this faux pas:
The Jaguars later had to apologize for their precocious feline: "Improvisation and humor have both been key elements to the character of Jaxson DeVille, especially when he performs at home games. On Sunday, the person who has played Jaxson DeVille over the past 20 seasons made an extremely poor decision in that regard. ..."
5. Tony Romo calls out the Dallas fans
"I was a little bit surprised by the number of Houston fans," Romo said after his team's win, via FOXSports. "Today we played on the road. We had to go to a silent count, and that was the first time I had to do that throughout [a] game at home.
"We need to do a better job as a team, as a fan base, to make sure how big of a difference playing at home is. I think going forward I'm going to press the issue. We just need to tighten up on selling our tickets."
This is the second time JerryWorld has been overrun by visiting fans in 2014 -- the 49ers brought a huge contingent with them in Week 1. It sounded and looked like the situation was worse for the Cowboys on Sunday.
4. Tom Brady's celebrations
The Patriots' quarterback has multiple Super Bowl rings, millions upon millions of dollars and a supermodel wife. So if he acts like a bit of a nerd from time to time, perhaps he is on to something. Like when he posts a goofy celebration photo to Facebook. Or shares the football version of eskimo kisses with his tight end. Or does this ...
Own it, Tom.
3. That's not proper attire
Our second trip to Jacksonville for this week's Sour Rankings focuses on one of the Jaguars' new in-stadium cabanas, which comes complete with a pool. If you plan to spend some time in one of those pools during a game, though, try to come prepared. Do not, for example, hop in wearing jeans and a long-sleeve shirt.
At least the woman who made that mistake appears to have been shunned by everyone else in the water.
2. The greatest false start
Straying outside the NFL world for this one, simply because it was too good to leave out. Nebraska lineman Jake Cotton moved before the snap Saturday, drawing a false start penalty. But he tried his damnedest to stay in his stance.
Can't ... stop ... watching ...
1. Where ya goin', Dee Ford?
Keep an eye on Ford, No. 55 for the Chiefs here, who appears to be in decent position to throw off Frank Gore's run and then ... well, it's hard to say what happened exactly.
Taking your theories on this one -- did Ford think there was play-action here? Was he somehow anticipating a cutback by turning completely away from Gore? Did he just not want to tackle Gore? Did he see a ghost? Whatever the answer, it was Sour Rankings gold.