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Former Carolina Panthers wide receiver Rae Carruth writes in a letter to the Charlotte Observer in which he acknowledges realizing that he will never have a relationship with his son.

Carruth is serving an 18–year sentence prison for his role in conspiring to murder his pregnant girlfriend, Cherica Adams. 

Adams gave birth to Chancellor Lee Adams, who was born with cerebral palsy and is taken care of by Adams's mother.

The Boy They Couldn't Kill: How Rae Carruth's son survived and thrives

Carruth, who is expected to be released later this year, last month apologized to the family for his role in the murder and said at the time that he would pursue a relationship with his son.

“I let him down as he came into this world and the only way that I can make that right and the only way I can work out my relationship with my son is to be there for him,” Carruth said.

But in a four-page, 800-word letter to the Charlotte Observer, Carruth says he has had a change of heart. 

“For all involved or invested in this ordeal, please calm down,” Carruth wrote. “I will no longer be pursuing a relationship with Chancellor and Ms. Adams. I promise to leave them be, which I now see is in everyone’s best interest.”