Nobody cool wants to look under the hood of a car anymore

So, NASCAR invested $5 million in research to find out how to get back out of the pits. To me, the most fascinating finding was that all those old, white guys,

Frank Deford | Mar 21, 2012

Nobody cool wants to look under the hood of a car anymore /

So, NASCAR invested $5 million in research to find out how to get back out of the pits. To me, the most fascinating finding was that all those old, white guys, who were the bread-and-butter NASCAR constituency, were not being replicated by their sons and grandsons. Frankly, the younger generations don't care to mess around with cars.

Ladies and gentlemen, I know this is heresy. It's been a given that Americans have what is always called "a love affair with the car." But what NASCAR found out was that it's now only a platonic relationship. No more hands on. A whole cohort of our young boys -- and girls -- has been growing up without any interest in "tinkering" around with cars. In fact, it made me think that the last time I ever heard anybody talking about looking under the hood was Ross Perot, when he ran for president back in '92, and he kept saying that all we had to do to fix all things in America was to just look under the hood.

Well, NASCAR found nobody much wants to do that anymore. There are no more gearheads growing up in America. Sure, younger people still view automobiles as a necessary evil to get from A to B, but no less so than do Brazilians or Indians or Chinese. In fact, Americans aren't satisfied only to drive. They otherwise want to talk on the phone, eat and drink, text, plug in their iPods, change CDs or fool around with the GPS. How many Americans would even get into cars if they couldn't be entertained while driving? If the government could just eliminate all the amusing stuff from cars, not many would get in them, and there goes the demand for foreign oil right there.

Moreover, when it comes to cars, kids grow up being primarily accustomed to watching cars crashing in movies and on TV. Cars aren't admired for racing anymore, for going fast. What's sexy about cars is that they're instruments of demolition.

And tinker? Researchers at the University of Michigan found that the kids who tinker more with the internet delay getting their driver's license. Not wanting a driver's license? Next to making out, that was the most important rite of passage in an American teenager's life.

Look, I wish NASCAR well. I hope it gets people back to the races, but it will have to do it with stars and steroids and point spreads, like all the other sports. Nobody cool wants to look under the hood anymore. They want to look at Facebook and YouTube. I can officially declare that, as of 2012, the American love affair with the car is over. Cars are so Greatest Generation.

Published Mar 21, 2012

FRANK DEFORD

Frank Deford is among the most versatile of American writers. His work has appeared in virtually every medium, including print, where he has written eloquently for Sports Illustrated since 1962. Deford is currently the magazine's Senior Contributing Writer and contributes a weekly column to SI.com. Deford can be heard as a commentator each week on Morning Edition. On television he is a regular correspondent on the HBO show Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel. He is the author of 15 books, and his latest,The Enitled, a novel about celebrity, sex and baseball, was published in 2007 to exceptional reviews. He and Red Smith are the only writers with multiple features in The Best American Sports Writing of the Century. Editor David Halberstam selected Deford's 1981 Sports Illustrated profile on Bobby Knight (The Rabbit Hunter) and his 1985 SI profile of boxer Billy Conn (The Boxer and the Blonde) for that prestigious anthology. For Deford the comparison is meaningful. "Red Smith was the finest columnist, and I mean not just sports columnist," Deford told Powell's Books in 2007. "I've always said that Red is like Vermeer, with those tiny, priceless pieces. Five hundred words, perfectly chosen, crafted. Best literary columnist, in any newspaper, that I've ever seen." Deford was elected to the National Association of Sportscasters and Sportswriters Hall of Fame. Six times at Sports Illustrated Deford was voted by his peers as U.S. Sportswriter of The Year. The American Journalism Review has likewise cited him as the nation's finest sportswriter, and twice he was voted Magazine Writer of The Year by the Washington Journalism Review. Deford has also been presented with the National Magazine Award for profiles; a Christopher Award; and journalism honor awards from the University of Missouri and Northeastern University; and he has received many honorary degrees. The Sporting News has described Deford as "the most influential sports voice among members of the print media," and the magazine GQ has called him, simply, "The world's greatest sportswriter." In broadcast, Deford has won a Cable Ace award, an Emmy and a George Foster Peabody Award for his television work. In 2005 ESPN presented a television biography of Deford's life and work, You Write Better Than You Play. Deford has spoken at well over a hundred colleges, as well as at forums, conventions and on cruise ships around the world. He served as the editor-in-chief of The National Sports Daily in its brief but celebrated existence. Deford also wrote Sports Illustrated's first Point After column, in 1986. Two of Deford's books, the novel, Everybody's All-American, and Alex: The Life Of A Child, his memoir about his daughter who died of cystic fibrosis, have been made into movies. Two of his original screenplays have also been filmed. For 16 years Deford served as national chairman of the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, and he remains chairman emeritus. He resides in Westport, CT, with his wife, Carol. They have two grown children – a son, Christian, and a daughter, Scarlet. A native of Baltimore, Deford is a graduate of Princeton University, where he has taught American Studies.