Danny Rose has opened up about his battle with depression - which was triggered by a lengthy spell on the sidelines through injury and personal tragedy - in a stirring interview where he admitted his England World Cup selection has made him the 'luckiest' player in the squad.
The Tottenham and England defender played a total of just 1,505 minutes for both club and country last season after being sidelined for more than eight months with a knee complaint, a time period which also saw his uncle commit suicide amongst a series of personal incidents.
Rose sought treatment for his depression which he has previously remained silent over, only disclosing his mental battle for the first time in front of several national newspapers.
"You are the only people who know about a lot of this stuff. I haven’t told my mum or my dad, and they are probably going to be really angry reading this, but I’ve kept it to myself until now," Rose said, via the Daily Mail.
Asked how the depression manifested, Rose said: "I was getting very angry, very easily. I didn’t want to go into football, I didn’t want to do my rehab, I was snapping when I got home, I wouldn’t want to go out. I would come home and go straight to bed.
Awful that Danny Rose suffers from depression, fantastic that he has used his platform to talk about it. Footballers shouldn't *have* to be role models, but they have the power to do so much good if they choose to. The words, their timing and the person uttering them all matter.— Daniel Storey (@danielstorey85) June 6, 2018
"It all stemmed from my injury in January last year when I was advised I didn’t need an operation. I don’t know how many tablets I took to try to get fit for Tottenham, how many injections trying to get fit for Tottenham."
The 27-year-old revealed he took painkillers and had cortisone injections in a bid to play through the knee injury, when he actually required surgery - which he eventually had - a series of events which triggered a downward spiral.
"Nobody knows this, either, but my uncle hanged himself in the middle of my rehab, and that triggered it [the depression] as well," he added.
"Off the field there have been other incidents. In August my mum was racially abused back home in Doncaster. She was very angry and upset about it, and then someone came to the house and nearly shot my brother in the face. A gun was fired at my house."
Rose then felt it necessary to leave Spurs and continue his treatment with the Football Association at St George's Park, and despite his limited game time he was then handed a place in England's 23-man World Cup squad - a decision which has left him feeling indebted to both Gareth Southgate and the England medical team.
Hopefully a sign that the mental health stigma is truly diminishing among men when Danny Rose can be so honest about suffering depression. That sort of candour can help so many others— Matt Dickinson (@DickinsonTimes) June 6, 2018
“I think it's fair to say I'm the luckiest player to be in the squad. Not in terms of ability, but the number of minutes I've had on the pitch and the past year I've had," Rose said.
“Had I been in Ryan Bertrand's shoes, and I'd missed out, I would have been very angry. So I know I've been very lucky and I'm going to do everything I can to replay the manager.
"England has been my salvation, one million per cent, and I can’t thank the manager and the medical staff enough."