Extra Mustard

Miller Lite Mastered the Beer Commercial In the '80s With These Ads. Time to Go Retro.

miller lite

In an effort to stanch slumping sales, MillerCoors is reintroducing a vintage Miller Lite can design for the first few months of 2014. Ad Age reports, via Beer Business Daily, that 98% of the brand's cans will be converted. A rational person might point out that the company would be better served by improving the quality of its product as opposed to altering the packaging, but that would just make everyone wonder if that person had ever tasted a light beer.

The can makeover isn't a terrible idea, though if MillerCoors really wants to move the needle with its retro rebrand it'd eschew whatever terrible advertising campaign it has planned and instead go full nostalgia by embracing the campy, athlete-packed aesthetic of yesteryear. John Madden bursting through a wall. Rodney Dangerfield pilfering cases of beer. Bob Uecker being Bob Uecker. Arguments between "famous owner" George Steinbrenner and "famous manager" Billy Martin. That's how you advertise a light beer. Hell, just start re-airing the old commercials themselves and I'll promise to buy a case a week. (Don't know if I'll drink it, but I'll buy it.)

No respect for Rodney Dangerfield's bowling game.

Bob Uecker and Tommy Heinsohn share quality time in the wilderness.

An interesting demonstration of humility and self-awareness.

Deacon Jones recites beautiful poetry.

Bubba Smith has no problems opening his can.

The case of the missing case.

Happy Gilmore sorta borrowed from this one.

Was John Madden the original Chris Farley?