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Watch: Tom Brady throws terrible first pitch at Red Sox home opener

New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady threw a terrible first pitch before the Boston Red Sox's home opener against the Washington Nationals at Fenway Park on Monday.

Tom Brady's latest off-season headline might be his worst: his opening pitch before the Red Sox's home opener against the Nationals at Fenway Park on Monday was quite, quite bad.

#https://vine.co/v/eudLE1FL1gb

One more time, from the stands:

#https://vine.co/v/eudLt3IQ3A6

Calling it a "one-hopper" even seems generous. The quarterback's pitch hit the dirt about halfway through the left-handed hitters' batting box and didn't even get close to reaching the painted line.

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Great scoop by Big Papi, though. And at least Brady took it in stride. Perhaps he'll return to balling with Michael Jordan or to the Bill Belichick heart attack-inducing cliff diving. Or maybe a return to having his kids bury him on the beach would be safer—for all involved.

- Mike Fiammetta