Get ready for the WWE's biggest PPV of the year with Extra Mustard's WrestleMania 31 predictions.
WrestleMania season is upon us! In just a few short weeks WWE will unleash their Super Bowl. The culmination of months-long storylines complete with rejuvenated legacy acts (Undertaker! Sting!) and Next Big Thing coronations (Roman Reigns! Bray Wyatt!) This Mania seems different from last year in the sense that there’s a lot of stuff left up in the air. I can’t remember the last time I was this unsure about an Undertaker match, like, maybe Legend Killer Randy Orton? Regardless, we’ve come up with our predictions for each of the matches on the card, as well as what we’d like to see happen if we were head of booking. Enjoy! And remember, it’s just wrestling.
Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns
Who will win: Roman won the Royal Rumble, defeated Daniel Bryan in a number one contender’s match at Fast Lane, and has the entire WWE push machine behind him. It’d be insane to stop now.
Who should win: Like I said, it’d be insane to stop now. This probably won’t make me the most popular person on the wrestling internet, but Roman Reigns should absolutely beat Brock Lesnar and become WWE Champion.
I’m not Roman’s biggest detractor, but I’m also not his biggest fan either. I’d absolutely prefer to see a guy like Bryan, or Ziggler, or Wyatt in his spot. But that didn’t happen, and now it’s in the past.
What we do have is a mean-mugging Samoan with a great look and lots of potential. As we mentioned above, he eliminated Big Show, Kane, and Rusev to win the Royal Rumble, and had an excellent match with Daniel Bryan where he kicked out of the RUNNING BAH-GAWD KNEE, to be put over nice and clean. If he loses to Lesnar, you’re throwing all of that in the toilet. Yes, some of it has been embarrassing, like The Rock trying desperately to get a savage Philly crowd to cheer for his younger, greener, cousin, but it’s far too late now.
Let Roman Reigns wear the belt. This was the plan since January. If it’s a disaster, then let it be a disaster.
Bray Wyatt vs. Undertaker
Who will win: The Undertaker’s legendary undefeated streak at WrestleMania came to a close last year after Brock Lesnar’s shocking victory. I just can’t envision a world where Taker loses back to back Manias. 22-1.
Who should win: This is tough, because I don’t like either scenarios. If Taker wins one of the all-time greats gets to go out on top in the twilight of his career, which gives us the fans all the warm tingly feelings we watch wrestling for. At the same time, it kinda sucks that Bray Wyatt, legitimately the best young talent they have, would once again get built up only to be swallowed by a franchise player. See: John Cena beating him pretty easy last year.
But if Wyatt wins, you’re burying the Undertaker’s squandered undefeated streak, which was one of the best stories WWE has ever told. Sure Wyatt looks stronger than ever, but there’s no real shame in losing to the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Shawn Michaels did it twice, and that dude’s career turned out alright.
I guess I’m leaning towards Wyatt here, because I think the whole “NEW FACE OF FEAR” angle could be pretty magical. I love the idea of Bray devouring Taker’s soul or something like that.
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
Who will win: This is a legitimate toss-up. Right now I’m leaning slightly towards Rollins because there’s plenty of opportunity for some screwball dusty finish with J&J Security at ringside. Also Rollins is holding the Money in the Bank Briefcase, and I think there’s a pretty good chance that’s getting cashed in before the end of WrestleMania.
Who should win: I love Randy Orton, but he doesn’t have a lot to gain here. Rollins is the younger guy in need of a strong win, so I think he goes over. Maybe if Brock sticks around without a belt we could have a summer of Lesnar/Orton matches. Doesn’t that sound kind of dope?
Triple H vs. Sting
Who will win: One man has had approximately 50 billion WWE matches in his career. The other has had zero. Sting is going over about as clean as you can possibly go over.
Who should win: Triple H should totally beat the crap out Sting. Here me out on this.
Triple H is at his best as the smarmy, privileged real-life supervillain self. It’s why I kind of love how he beat Booker T, because it reinforced Trips as the self-aware burier who wants nothing more than piss off every smart fan in the building. So if this Sting/Triple H match went, say, five minutes, and ended with Trips doing a Pedigree and then taking like an hour to actually go for the pinfall, that would be awesome. Screw the 40-minute wankfest they probably have planned, just go for the jugular and watch Reddit burn.
John Cena vs. Rusev
Who will win: Is John Cena involved in the match? Yeah I’m going with him.
Who should win: Honestly? John Cena. Yes.
I don’t like how he basically bullied his way into a rematch with Rusev, and I hate it when squeaky-clean babyfaces act like total heels, but come on man. It’s Rusev. I like Lana, I think he’s a decent worker, but I’ve never been blown away by a Rusev match and I don’t think I ever will be. I’ve enjoyed his little undefeated run, but I’m totally fine with that coming to an end against a guy like Cena, somewhere far away from the main event.
Bad News Barrett vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Stardust vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Daniel Bryan vs. R-Truth vs. Luke Harper
Who will win: So this is a 7-man ladder match for the Intercontinental Title, which hasn’t mattered since Ultimate Warrior was wearing it. All these guys would be decent choices, but I think Bryan is going to take it home.
Who should win: I like the idea of throwing a bunch of internet darlings in a giant ladder match that has a very good chance of stealing the show. The run-up, with the Tom & Jerry shenanigans of guys unofficially stealing the belt from one another has actually been pretty compelling. I don’t actually care who wins this, because it’s a ladder match and it’s the Intercontinental Title, but Daniel Bryan still seems like the right choice. Wanna make the lesser straps interesting again? Give it to a guy people love and have him main event PPVs.
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royale
Who will win: Mizdow, probably. Who cares.
Who should win: The fact that Miz and Mizdow, the hottest feud in the whole company, is getting stuffed into this meaningless 30-man filler slot instead of an actual match kinda tells you all you need to know about the WWE in 2015. I have no idea who should win this thing, the full list of competitors haven’t even been announced yet. I don’t know, give it to Curtis Axel, or El Torito, it seriously does not matter.
The Bella Twins vs. Paige and A.J. Lee
Who will win: Paige and A.J. Sure there’s not a title involved but Mania is the show with the happy endings.
Who should win: It doesn’t bother me to be honest, I just want to see this thing get the time it deserves. If WWE are serious about the #GiveDivasAChance story, they’ll at least let these four get the same amount of time, like, Charlotte and Sasha get on random NXT episodes. I’m just rooting for great women’s wrestling that makes dude-bros shut their mouths, is that too much to ask?