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Without Andrew Luck, Thursday Night Football could be really bad this week. Time to start drinking. 

By Extra Mustard
October 08, 2015

Ohhhhh boy. Thursday Night Football could be a real stinker this week. Andrew Luck isn’t starting, and backup Matt Hasselbeck is dealing with a virus that had him at the hospital two days ago. Not to mention, Hasselbeck is 40 years old. So could we see 29-year-old career backup Josh Johnson in the game?

And on top of all that, it’s a Thursday night. All the ingredients are there for a horrendous game. Thankfully, our drinking game is back for another round. 

Responsibly sip your drink when

  • Someone mentions J.J. Watt’s motor
  • There’s a commercial break without a DraftKings or Fanduel ad
  • Andrew Luck’s beard commercial is shown
  • You regret not picking up Arian Foster for your fantasy team
  • CBS shows the clip of Vince Wilfork in overalls
  • Andre Johnson’s Texans and Colts stats are compared

Take two sips when when

  • Cameras catch Bill O’Brien swearing on the sidelines
  • You can’t remember whether the Hasselbeck under center for the Colts is Tim or Matt
  • You find yourself debating whether Hasselbeck is a better backup than Jim Sorgi
  • You find yourself debating whether J.J. Watt is Houston’s best quarterback option
  • Either team goes three-and-out
  • You switch to the baseball game

Finish your drink when

  • Andrew Luck doesn’t start
  • Andrew Luck’s beard gets wet
  • The Texans switch quarterbacks
  • Oh my god, Josh Johnson has to replace Matt Hasselbeck
  • Brian Cushing pukes
  • You’re shown a J.J. Watt montage
  • J.J. Watt ends up bloodied
  • J.J. Watt ends a play without his helmet on


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