Run away from the King Cake Baby mascot as fast as possible

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This mascot literally could have killed an old lady today. Somebody call Robin Lopez. The Vine of this King Cake Baby thing, irresponsibly proliferated by the New Orleans Pelicans organization, is looping on my screen over and over as I write this and I think I might have a heart attack, not to mention this kind-looking lady just trying to do some grocery shopping.

Stop this baby. Stop the person wearing this suit. It’s not even cute. Let’s get Blake Griffin to punch it. Where is Pierre the Pelican.

If you live in New Orleans, stop going to grocery stores. It’s over. Hire a bodyguard. I hate everything about this.

And keep it the hell away from your actual baby.

- Jeremy Woo