Traina Thoughts: Texas Man Gets Bold, Steals FIVE Cases of Beer From Convenience Store

An Arlington man steals five cases of beer and gives us a classic photo.

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1. Let me get this out of the way at the top so I don't get in trouble with SI.com higher ups: Crime is bad and you shouldn't steal and we shouldn't make light of people breaking the law.

OK, now that I got that out of the way, this is hilarious. Police in Arlington, Texas, are looking for a man who they say "went on a textbook beer run." It was textbook because the man decided to steal FIVE cases of beer. The convenicence store he hit, of course, had a surveillance camera and the still photos from his shenanigans resulted in a great photo.

(Illegal) beer run! Arlington police are searching for this guy who managed to grab five cases 😯 of beer from a convenience store and flee the scene. pic.twitter.com/gm4MbtcqUW

— WFAA (@wfaa) October 17, 2018

There are so many questions about this case: How could nobody see the man carrying FIVE cases of beer? How was he able to haul ass out of the store so quickly while carrying FIVE cases of beer? Did the guy plan on stealing five cases or did he decide to just pick up as many as he could? 

With the facts still not clear, the police are very serious about this case.

Here is a textbook definition of a beer run. This beer baron swiped 5 cases from a convenience store in the 5000 block of Little School Road and took off. He left in a Gray Dodge truck. 📞 Det. Thompson if you recognize him, 817-459-6054 or email, leonor.thompson@arlingtontx.gov pic.twitter.com/un3So55wB1

— Arlington, TX Police (@ArlingtonPD) October 17, 2018

2. This is what happens when you trash talk before you win. The Red Sox were clearly irked by Astros third baseman Alex Bregman posting an Instagram video of Houston players going deep off Nathan Eovaldi, with the caption, "lil pregame video work," before Game 3 of the ALCS. After Bregman struck out late in last night's clinching game for Boston, Red Sox pitcher David Price was seen on camera yelling, "Post that!"

“Post that” 😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/sG7LZ2n6zs

— Justin Duarte (@JDuarte15) October 19, 2018

The Red Sox official Twitter account also got in on taking shots at Bregman after the game.

lil post series video work pic.twitter.com/mbwVWHuh8i

— Red Sox (@RedSox) October 19, 2018

3. JuJu Smith-Schuster giving his dog a pep talk before they hit the park is one of the best pregame speeches you'll ever see.

Hype your dog the way JuJu hypes Boujee 🤣

(via @TeamJuJu) pic.twitter.com/6HpqSdRzNz

— Bleacher Report (@BleacherReport) October 18, 2018

4. This is an actual bet offered on TopBet.eu.

TopBet.au

5. I'm biased because I've always been a huge Chris "Mad Dog" Russo fan, but I can objectively say that his MLB Network show, High Heat, and his SiriusXM radio show, Mad Dog Unleashed, have been off-the-charts good during the MLB playoffs. With Russo, it's not whether you agree or disagree with him. It's about him being authentic and entertaining. Here was his rant Thursday about the Astros' loss to the Red Sox in Game 4.

"I don't want to hear Houston moan and groan! They've been outplayed!" @MadDogUnleashed #HighHeat pic.twitter.com/CCT4CT3Wqd

— MLB Network (@MLBNetwork) October 18, 2018

6. After going 90 minutes with John Cena on last week's SI Media Podcast I kept it tight this week, going 30 minutes with New York Post sports media columinst Andrew Marchand as we discussed a variety of topics, including the MLB playoff crews for TBS and FS1, Vin Scully’s refusal to do a cameo in the booth, the backlash against Jason Witten in the Monday Night Football booth, which NFL announcer has flown under the radar, the bizarre bit with Alex Rodriguez putting on a Red Sox uniform, 85-year-old Hubie Brown inking a multi-year contract extension with ESPN, Mike Francesa’s app and much more. You can listen below or download the podcast on iTunes.

7. RANDOM YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE DAY: It's officially the offseason for the Astros, a time when their executives will meet with other executives for some good-natured negotations.

Traina Thoughts is the best of the Internet, plus musings by SI.com writer, Jimmy Traina. Get the link to a new Traina's Thoughts each day by following on Twitter and liking on Facebook. Catch up on previous editions of Traina Thoughts right here. And make sure to listen to and subscribe to the SI Media Podcast hosted by Jimmy Traina.

IN CLOSING: If I had guts, I'd bet the Bears +2.5, but of course, I'll bet the Patriots -2.5 because that line is too good to be true and the Bears will win outright.