Real Madrid makes crashing return

If you happen to find any typos in here, I sincerely apologize. I've been squinting for the past 48 hours trying to follow the action on DirecTV's Champions League Mix channel on a way-too-small, non-high def TV. Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that I now have the luxury of being able to watch literally every Champions League game -- but man, are my eyes killing me. Worst part is, you can't record all eight concurrent games on a DVR, so it's either the Mix or pick a game and stick with it. And for all you fellow Gen-Xers out there raised on Sesame Street (the old ones where Snuffleupagus was imaginary and Elmo was nothing more than a supporting Muppet), you know we don't have that kind of attention span. If you've picked up that all this is a thinly veiled kvetch session about the fact that I don't have an HDTV, gold star for you. Whaddya say, on with the show? As usual, do your own kvetching here. Enjoy.

Note: All rankings, records and statistics are through Sept. 30.

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