The Week 5 Power Rankings arrive on Wednesday. But first, the Sour Rankings take a spin through the worst of the past week in the NFL …
10. Geno Smith and Sheldon Richardson vs. Jets fans
It's been a rough stretch for Geno Smith. He's suffered three straight losses (all to NFC North teams), topped off by the home fans spending much of the second half against the Lions on Sunday chanting for Michael Vick. Apparently, he snapped a little. As Smith walked off the field following the 24-17 setback, he lobbed an F-bomb at a heckling fan.
Smith later apologized, but teammate Sheldon Richardson did not think his quarterback should have.
"Shut up," Richardson said indirectly to the ornery home crowd, according to NJ.com. "If that's the case, produce a child to make it to the NFL, and then let's see what he got. Other than that, just shut up. We've got coaches to do that."
So, if your kid plays/has played in the NFL, are you allowed to ask for Vick or ... what? I'm not sure I understand the rules here.
9. Philadelphia's early wake-up call
Nothing like a fire alarm at 2:30 a.m. to throw you off your game. That's what the Eagles had to deal with Sunday morning in their San Francisco-area hotel.
As far as we know, the Eagles eventually caught some shut-eye ... both at the hotel and during Sunday's game, in which their offense was held scoreless by the 49ers' defense.
8. The Dennis Allen "report"
At this point, it really would come as no surprise if the Raiders canned head coach Dennis Allen after the team fell to 0-4 Sunday with a humiliating loss to the Dolphins in London. So when an Associated Press reporter tweeted Sunday night that Allen was out -- "My sources tell me that Raiders head coach Dennis Allen is fired and an announcement could come as soon as Tuesday -- little seemed out of place.
Until said reporter, Terry Collins, deleted the tweet and followed it up with this:
Something real odd happened here. It's unlike anyone at the Associated Press to start firing around unsubstantiated reports willy-nilly, so who were the "sources" Allen referred to earlier Monday night?
Regardless, for now, Allen remains employed.
7. Stevie Johnson's "fantasy team"
49ers wide receiver Stevie Johnson (who had a spectacular touchdown catch Sunday, by the way) spent one afternoon last week turning the tables on fantasy football owners who criticize him on Twitter.
This went on for a bit ...
His team actually sounds more competitive than at least one of my real fantasy football teams.
Chances are nothing will ever match Mark Sanchez's so-called "buttfumble" for sheer ridiculousness anytime soon. But that did not stop the Twittersphere from trying to run with the 49ers' "buttpunt" (aka "buttblock") on Sunday. On that play, the Eagles scored a touchdown as Trey Burton drove San Francisco's Dan Skuta back into punter Andy Lee.
5. Big Ben cow
A calf in Pittsburgh was born with the white hair on its head forming a number seven. So, naturally, it was named "Baby Ben" after Steelers' quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who wears the No. 7 himself.
4. Jay Cutler's fumblerooski
As if the 16-yard run through a surprised Packers defense was not enough, the Bears earned an extra 10 yards (half the distance to the goal) via an unnecessary roughness penalty on Sam Shields. (A terrible call, yes, but a flag nonetheless.)
3. Antonio Brown's touchdown celebration
Is Antonio Brown pretending to be a spinning football here? If so, points for creativity, I guess.
2. South Park takes on the Redskins
The work of South Park co-creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone may not be to everyone's taste. The universal opinion, however, is that they delivered a gem in last week's season premiere, skewering the NFL and the Redskins' name controversy.
They were so on the ball that between when the episode's promos ran and the actual episode aired, they swapped out Robert Griffin III's character for Kirk Cousins, mimicking the RGIII injury-induced change in Washington's lineup. Most of the jokes are unsuitable for print here.
One that is a go: Roger Goodell-bot.
1. The Saints' ... fake punt ... thing ...
Pretend you're Saints head coach Sean Payton. Your team is trailing the Cowboys 31-17 midway through the fourth quarter, and you're facing a 4th-and-9 from your own 41.
Do you: A) Punt the ball and rely on your defense that has forced back-to-back three-and-outs? B) Leave Drew Brees, one of the better quarterbacks in league history, on the field to try for the first down? C) Call for a fake punt that includes a play-action end around and your punter rolling out on a bootleg?
NO! DO NOT PICK C! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!