What's In A Name

SI Staff | Sep 7, 2006

What's In A Name /

What's In A Name

Anna Smashnova

Which current athletes have the coolest given names in sports? (Sorry, Coco Crisp, we'll do nicknames later.) Here are some that caught our attention.<br><br>The woman with the most explosive name in tennis burst upon the pro scene in 2002, winning four WTA titles and knocking off 11 Top 20 players, including Justine Henin and Kim Clijsters, while reaching No. 16 in the world rankings. A smart, energetic baseliner from Israel by way of Belarus, Smashnova has seen her star dim a bit recently, presently residing at No. 46.

Quentin Jammer

His last name captures his playing style: tight coverage and punishing hits jam the gears of the opposing offense. San Diego's shut-down corner, a 2002 first-round draft pick (fifth overall out of Texas), is coming off career highs in tackles (72) and passes defensed (19) last season.

God Shammgod

Why anyone legally named "God" needs a nickname is beyond us, but the Providence-educated Shammgod was dubbed "The Wizard" due to his unrivaled crossover and ballhandling ability. Ron Artest once said, "I don't know anybody who ever had a better handle than Shammgod." Unfortunately, the rest of his game was less than divine. He's now breaking ankles in Saudi Arabia.

Swin Cash

Want a money player? Think Cash: winner of two national titles at UConn, as well as 2002 Final Four Most Outstanding Player honors. The second pick in that year's WNBA draft, Cash paid off for Detroit in 2003, leading the Shock in postseason scoring (17.5 points per game) en route to the championship. The following year she bagged gold at the Summer Olympics.

Apolo Anton Ohno

An apropos moniker for one who is so fleet of foot. Ohno's father connected the Greek words "ap" ("steering away from") and "lo" ("look out") with an "o" to create a first name that means "to lead away from" while it evokes the Greek god Apollo. A decorated Olympian, Ohno has won two gold medals, two bronze and a silver in short-track competition.

Richie Incognito

Incognito's ability has been disguised by three years' worth of fights, assault charges and disciplinary problems that got the three-time All-America dismissed from Nebraska in 2003. The Rams took a chance on the fiery, physical 305-pounder in the third round of the 2005 draft, but he sat out last season after knee surgery.

Fred Funk

The word "funk" can mean anything from "to give off a strong offensive smell" to "a depressed state of mind" to "one who is unconventionally stylish." Funk, who has seven PGA Tour wins and more than $19 million in career earnings, hardly stinks nor has he reason to be in one. Last year he became the oldest winner of the the Players Championship (48 years, 9 months, 14 days), although he's as stylish as Dan Aykroyd's Fred Garvin, male prostitute.

JJ Putz

When you hear his name, it sounds like JJ "puts" the ball over the plate, but as Seattle's closer he's apt to look like the Yiddish word for idiot (or worse) if he blows a save. Fortunately, Putz puts most batters down. He has 82 strikeouts in 62.2 innings to go along with 28 saves this season.

Alge Crumpler

At the beginning of his career in 2001, Crumpler was as eye-catching as, well, algae. But the 6-foot-2, 262-pound tight end steadily grew into Michael Vick's safety blanket, becoming one of the most skilled and memorable receivers in the league.

Peerless Price

Supposedly, Peerless' mom christened him after a name she saw on the side of a moving truck. And when both Price and Crumpler lined up for the Falcons, it was a nomenclatural bonanza. But for 2006, Price has returned to his old stomping grounds in Buffalo -- and, thanks to a sub-par two years in Atlanta, far from a peerless price tag.

John Force

The subject of A&E's aptly named series Driving Force has racked up 116 wins, 13 NHRA championships and the quarter-mile speed record (329.91 miles per hour) since 1989 while routinely enduring forces of six G's at the wheel of his 8,000-horsepower funny car. Force famously claimed to see Elvis just before slamming into a Memphis raceway wall at 200 miles per hour in 1992. The force of impact saved his life by separating him from the flaming chassis.

Sheryl Swoopes

Her name connotes a ball hawk, so it's only fitting that Swoopes is a three-time WNBA Defensive Player of the Year who, at age 35, ranked this season among the league's top three in steals (64) and top 10 in rebounds (148). The two-time WNBA MVP is only the third player in league history to score 4,000 points.

Jordin Tootoo

If hockey is a brutal ballet on ice, the first Inuit to play in the NHL fits right in with his frilly last name and scrappy, hard-nosed style. The 5-9, 190-pound fireplug is, naturally, the biggest sports star ever to hail from Rankin Inlet, Nunavut, Canada, which has yet to produce a noted ballerina.

Boof Bonser

In 2001, the beefy Boof (6-4, 260) legally changed his name from John Paul, formally adopting the childhood nickname that was bestowed upon him by his grandmother, who was (we hope) unaware that the Urban Dictionary defines "boof" as, among other things, assorted activities in the posterior region.

Kevin Pittsnogle

You've been pittsnogled when an underestimated opponent has sunk a 25-footer in your face. The verb was inspired by the 6-11 center whose dead-eye shooting made him West Virginia's career treys leader (253) and an unexpected hero in the 2005 NCAA tournament. He was ignored in the 2006 NBA draft but signed by the Celtics, who obviously seek to pittsnogle the Atlantic Division this season.

D'Brickashaw Ferguson

In the NFL, few names are as mellifluous in their harshness as D'Brickashaw, and few names are as perfect for an offensive tackle. Simultaneously evocative of Da Vinci, a brick wall and celebratory groaning ("aww"), Ferguson will settle in as the cornerstone of the Jets' line. The expectations are heaped high, but "Brick" knows it: He was born on Long Island.

Milton Bradley

With Bradley, opponents and fans alike can technically hate both the player and the game. And they generally have no shortage of reasons to do so: From spats with Jeff Kent to Paul Lo Duca, the oft-suspended, oft-criticized Bradley is one player who is unafraid to speak the contents of his mind.

Published Sep 7, 2006

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