Tell everyone your bedsores are from Muay Thai training. (All times Eastern)
MLB Washington Nationals vs. Philadelphia Phillies, 7:00p.m. (ESPN & ESPN3)
Another testament to the wisdom of fan voting: Bryce Harper, who missed 31 games with an injury and went 1-19 upon returning from the DL, will start in the All Star Game. He'll be joined in the outfield by perpetual top vote-getter Yao Ming.
Soccer Gold Cup Group Stage: El Salvador vs. Trinidad & Tobago, Haiti vs. Honduras, coverage starts 7:00p.m. (Fox Soccer Channel)
It only took one day for to prove that anything can happen in this tournament. The final minutes of Mexico vs. Panama saw two separate idiots on the field. Tiny Martinique scored this incredible stoppage-time goal to beat Canada 1-0.
Separately Trinidad and Tobago stand no chance, but when their powers combine …
Basketball World University Games: USA vs. Czech Republic, 5:00a.m. re-air 7:00p.m. (ESPNU & ESPN)
There is college-aged competition all day on the World Wide Leader, but the most entertaining will likely be this collection of NCAA players, who squeaked out a win in their opening game against the United Arab Emirates by a paltry 94 points. Cincinnati guard Sean Kilpatrick is worth a follow on Twitter, if only for his fascination with Olympic diving.
Cricket Tri Nations Cricket: West indies vs. Sri Lanka, 9:20a.m. (ESPN3)
This is the sad running diary on ESPN Cricinfo of yesterday's prolonged rain delay and eventual postponement:
The teams will pick back up again this morning, hopefully giving whoever writes this thing something worth typing.
TV Octane Academy, 11:00p.m. (NBC Sports)
Thousands of bros applied online to be part of this car racing reality show. They will be whittled down to one winner of a racing scholarship based on their driving ability, commitment to victory, and, if the four coaches are any indication, apparent enthusiasm for energy drinks.
TV Classic Battle of the Network Stars, 8:00p.m. (ESPN Classic)
This is the show that spawned what Bill Simmons called his favorite YouTube clip:
This precursor to Rock N' Jock and that ridiculous diving show (correction: ridiculous diving shows) comes from an era in which being on a program with the word "celebrity" was categorical proof that you weren't, in fact, a celebrity.