Sam Page
Tuesday December 17th, 2013

Arizona Cardinals v Philadelphia Eagles

Just in time for the holidays: a "gift" that really says, "stop inviting me to Christmas." A Philadelphia Eagles fan is selling on eBay his "allegiance" to the team "forever," whatever that means. If you're wondering what that listing could possibly look like, it's a bunch of dumb meme pictures and this description, which is straight out of a Reddit dating advice thread:

Imagine being in love with a beautiful, majestic woman. Imagine that every day for twenty years, you have learned everything there is to know about her, written songs about her, showered her with gifts, dreamt of her every single night and made her your number one object of affection.

Imagine that during the entirety of the twenty years, she strung you along, giving you false hope time and time again that you could be together. She would accompany you on dates, accept your gifts, occasionally take you to meet her family, kiss you on the cheek; and then she would crush your heart and soul by telling you that it wasn't going to work, she had moved on, found someone else. Yet each year she would come back and tell you that she wanted you back, that she wanted to be with you, that she wanted another chance...and you gave it to her.

The seller pledges that all proceeds will go toward funding his wedding (presumably not to the allegorical woman above) and, weirdly enough, a small bidding war has already erupted in the opening hours of the auction. Two people -- presumably the seller's parents -- have gotten it up to 13 bids and $10.

Hopefully the person who inevitably pays too much for this "item" just wants to file a hilarious dispute on eBay and is not genuinely trying to reward this behavior. [via CBS Philly]

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