The only appropriate way to kick off the NBA season is to eat inappropriate amounts of unhealthy food. You can get started tomorrow, when LeBron and the Cavs open the season at home against the New York Knicks.
WHAT IS THIS WITCHCRAFT?: The 216
WHO HATH WROUGHT THIS MONTROSITY?: The Quicken Loans Arena, home of the Cleveland Cavaliers in area code 216.
WHAT COMPRISES SUCH A THING?: A Hungarian sausage and smoked pork sandwich, topped with barbecue sauce, red pepper relish, beer cheese fondue and cinnamon-dusted sweet potato tots. That’s right, regular cheese and potatoes just weren’t enough for the Aramark chefs at the Q. But hey, we're not complainin'.
HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?: $11. You could buy 80 of these babies with the money you forked over for your game ticket.
HOW MANY CALORIES WE TALKIN'?: About 1,000 calories.
KNOWN ENEMIES: LeBron James. Hah.