Tuesday April 14th, 2015

MTV is bringing back Celebrity Deathmatch, the brilliant claymation series that kills off famous people in horrifyingly/hilariously brutal fashion. According to Hollywood Reporter, the show is being "reimagined for a social media world," whatever that means. Hopefully MTV won't change it too much, because the original was perfect.

In honor of the show's revival, here are some of the greatest sports-related deathmatches:

Bud Selig vs. Barry Bonds (2007)

Selig is at a disadvantage after being temporarily blinded by the pus from Bonds's (alleged) steroids-induced bacne, but Bonds seals his own fate by squeezing his own head until it explodes.

 


Michael Jordan vs. Dennis Rodman (1998)

Jordan stuffs a basketball in Rodman's mouth, dribbles him around the ring and slam dunks him into a trashcan.


Evander Holyfield vs. Mike Tyson (1999)

Tyson and Holyfield take their deathmatch to the streets and strangers' apartments. Holyfield eventually wins after falling off a building, which explodes and blows Tyson into pieces.


Derek Jeter vs. John Rocker (2002)

Rocker uses his patented "Crotch Rot" (see above) to terrorize Jeter, who is so enraged that he electrocutes Rocker.


Shaquille O'Neal vs. Kobe Bryant (2006)

O'Neal promptly rips off Bryant's head and LOLs, then proceeds to miss a million free throws (using Bryant's limbs as the ball).

 


Anna Kournikova vs. Danica Patrick (2007)

Kournikova calls Patrck a “butterface tomboy,” Patrick decapitates Kournikova; in a twist, Kournikova's body retaliates by picking up its own head and serving it at Patrick, decapitating her.

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