Dan Gartland
Wednesday March 23rd, 2016

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice comes out this weekend and apparently it’s very, very bad. Early reviews of the movie came out on Tuesday and they’re certainly far from favorable, averaging 40% on Rotten Tomatoes

I know what you’re thinking, How bad could it really be? Sure, the trailers were flashy, the cast is pretty solid and they did spend $250 million. Is it really going to be that terrible? Let’s take a look at what critics are saying. 

Rob Harvilla, Deadspin

Yo, this movie makes no sense. Dream sequences and non sequiturs and red herrings and where-the-hell-are-we-now mini-excursions and false starts out the ass.

Robbie Collin, The Telegraph

No major blockbuster in years has been this incoherently structured, this seemingly uninterested in telling a story with clarity and purpose.

Mara Reinstein, Us Weekly

A popcorn film — and this is a popcorn film — should never feel like Sunday night homework.

Lou Lumenick, New York Post

Constantly threatening to collapse from self-seriousness, this epic has way too much of everything, including CGI and Oscar winners up the wazoo.

Matt Goldberg, Collider

​[A] convoluted, horribly written story featuring poorly written characters making inexplicable choices. It doesn’t matter who wins in Batman v Superman because the audience loses either way.

Jordan Hoffman, The Guardian

Even a little kid (like the ones who will be scarred if you take them to see this movie) knows that Batman and Superman will eventually become friends. The way it happens is so ridiculous that I wanted to throw popcorn at the screen, but this was at least two hours in and I’d already eaten it all. 

Michael Roffman, Consequence of Sound

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice isn’t a film. It’s a two-and-a-half-hour movie trailer. Better yet, it’s one of those videos that pop up on screens before a ride at Universal Studios, where all the actors speak to you and keep hinting at bigger things to come — you know, like a ride?

Adam Graham, The Detroit News

“[A] cluttered two-and-a-half hour collision that aims to bludgeon viewers into submission.”

Stephanie Zacharek, TIME

“It’s also not much fun: Barely a minute goes by when there isn’t a character or real-life talking head (Charlie Rose and Neil deGrasse Tyson both make cameos) showing up with some droning pronouncement about how humans today, savvy and mistrustful as we are, still need to believe in gods and heroes.”

Rafer Guzman, Newsday

​Overlong, underdeveloped and almost entirely humorless.

Helen O’Hara, GQ UK

It just wears you down and wears you out, making you wonder if there was ever such a thing as a hero anyway. 

Mike Ryan, UPROXX

Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I was legitimately looking this forward to a movie that I found this dull. About halfway through this over two-and-a-half hour movie, I had to stop my brain from thinking about other things, like what groceries I needed to pick up at some point.​

You’re gonna go see it anyway, though. 

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