Campus Quick Slants
My friend Seth emailed me last week in a fit of rage.
I froze for a second -- "Does anyone really watch that show," I thought -- but quickly curled back over my keyboard and answered in the only way a college football fan could: "I think you'll be alright."
Yup, he'll be just fine. All your favorite shows are already airing every Saturday. It's just a matter of perspective. Right now, isn't Nebraska filming its own version of
Nope, you don't need Hollywood writers to create these shows. The college football season already does that on its own. That's how you can get your dose of
That's how you can get your fill of
Oh, and Seth, from where I'm standing,
DISCLAIMER: Talking about playoff brackets during this BCS regime -- even fake ones with contrived context -- is the equivalent of preaching democracy in China. So, if men wearing suits and dark sunglasses show up at your door and start poking around, you don't know me. Thanks.
Now, hypothetically speaking...
Kansas is only three wins away from an appearance in the BCS title game. In other words, next week's showdown with Missouri, barring a historic choke job against Iowa State, is a virtual Elite Eight game; the following week's Big 12 Championship -- presumably against Oklahoma -- could wind up being a de facto Final Four matchup, at least from the Jayhawks' perspective.
Here's my question: In a season that has already resembled the most tripped out NCAA Basketball Tournament you could possibly imagine, is there any reason to believe that Kansas won't follow suit and gag somewhere along the road? Yes, I'm secretly rooting for the Jayhawks to go unbeaten and confuse the pollsters; but after I've seen this school torpedo my basketball brackets repeatedly over the last ten years, why shouldn't I doubt that a disappointing loss is lurking in the weeds?
Back in mid-September, I joked that Boston College would pull a
Now, it's not fair to pick on the Eagles for fading when so many other teams -- South Florida, California, South Carolina, etc. -- have done the same. But there's a neat little ring in saying that someone or something "pulled a Boston College," no? Seems like the kind of thing you could use in your everyday vocabulary -- it can be our euphemism for tanking like the 2007 New York Mets. Here are some other things that should pull a Boston College:
2) Seasons four, five, and six of
3) The hot chick from college who packs on an extra 15 pounds over summer break and returns drastically less attractive
5) Every movie scene in which
Feel free to send in other suggestions.
Here at Campus Quick Slants, we encourage random acts of political incorrectness whenever possible. And sometimes it takes a bold move like this to make you truly appreciate the rarity of college coaches taunting one another.
That said, with talk of
Let's be honest, the likelihood of any of us ever dating
Lack of research? Perhaps. My research starts and ends with Virginia's 20-point loss to Wyoming in the first week of the 2007 season. Or with one of those two-point wins coming against Middle Tennessee. Or with the fact that Virginia hasn't won a big game in recent memory despite having solid recruiting classes nearly every season. That's all the research I need.