Your guide to the weekend -- SIOC style.

MIT Bad Ideas Competition, 5:30 p.m.

The ideas behind computer games, a global positioning system (GPS) and the X-Ray were all born in the brains of MIT students. So was the idea for a tomato sauce-eating contest. This three day event, which also includes a rat catching competition and Velcro suit wrestling, gives MIT students the chance to show that they can use their minds for pointlessly moronic tasks. Take that Harvard.

Stand For Change Rally With Barack Obama, University of South Carolina, 10:45 p.m.

With the democratic race heating up Barack Obama will make Friday stops at both Clemson and the University of South Carolina. There's no word on what his late-night stop in Columbia will entail, but perhaps it will include another history lesson about Magic Johnson.

Men's Basketball -- Gonzaga at Memphis, Noon; Nebraska at Kansas, 1:45 p.m.

That nation's two remaining undefeated teams attempt to keep their perfect records intact. Memphis is No. 1 for the first time in 25 years, and although their coach didn't know it, they're pretty happy about it. The No. 2 ranked Jayhawks should have an easy time with Nebraska, but they must play the game knowing their mascot is in danger of being hunted.

Women's Swimming and Diving -- Auburn at Florida, Noon

Has the end of football season left you without a public gathering where it's socially acceptable to profess your hatred of Tim Tebow? This is the place to be. The top ranked Tiger swill have their hands full with the 7th-ranked Gators.

UConn Trombone Day Festival, 12:30 p.m.

It's the perfect event for somebody looking for 10 straight hours of trombone related activities. And if you think I'm only mentioning this so I can use the word "tromboner," you're wrong (the proper nomenclature is trombonist.) The full day festival is packed with events and capped off by a performance from the legendary Jim Pugh. I'm so excited I can hardly hold on to my spit valve.

Men's Basketball -- Duke vs. Maryland, 6:30 p.m.

When the Terps and Blue Devils meet in College Park it's always a testy affair. With Maryland seeking their 2nd consecutive win against a top-three team, Sunday's game should be no different. My advice to Mama Paulus: Get ready for a lot of "Duck Fuke" shirts, and watch your head.

Screen Actors Guild Awards, TBS & TNT, 8:00 p.m.

Thanks to the writers strike the SAG awards might be your best chance to see Tom Cruise reading scripted lines for something other than bizarre scientology videos. If the two hour show doesn't give you enough celeb-watching time, E! has three hours of pre-game coverage.

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