Your guide to the weekend -- SIOC style.

Brown University "Dancing With the Profs," 8 p.m.

There's no Mark Cuban or Emmitt Smith, but that won't keep Brown from having their own rendition of America's 12th most legendary reality TV show. The competition matches seven professors with seven different members of the school's ballroom dance team, and the winner will be chosen by professional judges. Whether you go to cheer on your favorite professor or heckle your least favorite, it should be a memorable evening.

Sexual Spelling Bee, Oregon State, 10 p.m.

Do you know how many "f"s there are in "vas deferens"? Do you prefer to indulge your pornographic urges with literature rather than video? Do you want to be a competitive speller and have a girlfriend? If you answered yes to any of those questions then OSU's late night Sextravaganza '08 spelling bee is the place to be.

Men's basketball, No. 23 St. Mary's vs. San Francisco, 10:05 p.m.

It's been a big week for these two WCC teams. On Saturday, San Francisco coach Eddie Sutton got his 800th career victory. Two days later, St Mary's vaulted into first place with a thrilling overtime victory against Gonzaga. While it's unlikely Sutton will get win 801 on Friday (the Dons are 6-16), the news isn't all bad. With Bobby Knight retiring Sutton is now on pace to pass The General in just 11 years.

Men's Ice Hockey, No. 9 Boston College vs. No. 18 UMass, 7 p.m.

On Monday BC plays Harvard in the Beanpot final, but before then the Eagles must deal with a UMass team that beat them the last time they played. Saturday's game will showcase two of the best diminutive forwards in the nation. UMass is led by 5-foot-7 freshman James Marcou (25 points) while BC's frontline features 5-5 Nathan Gerbe (21 goals).

On Screen: The Hottie and the Nottie Hits Theaters

At long last, Paris Hilton makes her big screen debut as the leading actress in a romantic comedy. Ughh. Her last three movies all made their way into the top 25 of IMDB's Bottom 100 and there's no reason to think this won't be the 4th. They don't call Hilton the Cal Ripken of terrible movies for nothing.

Men's Wrestling, No. 18 Oklahoma vs. No. 2 Nebraksa, 2 p.m.

It's senior day in Lincoln as the Huskers attempt to knock off their 5th Top 20 opponent of the season. This match won't have quite as many spectators as a football game between these two schools, but wearing Sooner burgundy is still ill-advised.

Women's Basketball, No. 21 Georgia vs. No. 8 LSU, 2 p.m.

The Lady Tigers will be wearing special pink uniforms in order to promote breast cancer awareness. This SEC rivalry game also gives the Tigers a chance to promote awareness of their nine game winning streak and 7-0 SEC record.

Grammy Awards, CBS, 8 p.m.

Hooray. Another awards show. Amy Winehouse (who will be unable to attend) and Kanye West are expected to be among the big winners. The show will also feature a performance from Kid Rock, which should be of great help to anybody who recently woke up from an 8-year coma and is having trouble adjusting to 2008.

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